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Prevention is better than cure. If you know you are going to have an interaction with someone who has the potential to trigger your frustration, you can inform them beforehand. For instance
Anger, one of our common emotions, is often associated with control. From an evolutionary perspective, anger is at the root of the fighting response that enabled cave dwellers to overcome potentially harmful situations.
In modern times, anger, of a motivating kind, is vital for achieving our goals by channelising our energy in a controlled manner. Sportspersons in a cricket or football game use aggression as a tool to draw out good performance. At a subtler level, anger forms the basis for several other purposes, such as civil society activism, advocacy, and so on.
Evolution of Anger
Temper tantrums were the most common way when we were children to get what we wanted. We screamed, howled, and yanked things until our wish was fulfilled. As we entered adulthood, our personalities matured with emotional development. We knew that anger had to be kept in check.
How much or how often or for what reason do people get angry differs in a population. Mental health professionals agree that a short-tempered person is usually a perfectionist with a low threshold for frustration.
Tips to Manage a Short Temper
Anger management is vital for physical and mental well-being. Besides the techniques to respond without anger to stressful situations, certain mindfulness practices and lifestyle changes can raise our ability to avoid or withstand such situations.
1. Recognize Temper
Many situations or developments can make us angry. These include violations of our boundaries, unmet needs, and perceived threats to ourselves. It is not appropriate to act or talk on our impulses and burst out. Many arguments get out of hand because we don't take a pause.You should start an intentional practice to either ask a few questions before getting angry or take a break whenever you want to react.
2. Learn the Art of Responding
You react quickly and often “without thinking.” We react when we are more concerned about the person who has said something unpleasant or caused hurt in any way. Reactions are driven by our biases and insecurities. We feel reacting would protect us, but the effect is the opposite: we end up hurting.
Responding isn't always easy, and it’s a slower process. It requires self-awareness, and it takes into account the well-being of us and others. It weighs the long-term impact. While responding you should ask yourself: what is the intention behind what I am about to say?
3. Mindfulness
Mindfulness teaches us ways of recognizing anger before you lose control, so that you can release it and return quickly to a calm, rational state in which nonreactive and generally better decisions and communication can occur. It is experiential, meaning that you must experience it in order to understand it. This doesn't mean that you need to isolate yourself from the world or learn the science behind mindfulness. Taking three deep breaths when you recognize your temper tipping over is often helpful. Remember that mindfulness comes with practice and requires consistent effort from your end.
4. Changing Your Environment
Never give in to the perception that you can control all aspects of your environment. The risk with such thinking is that when your environment weighs you down, you feel anger at the loss of control. Realize that only a few parts of your environment are within your influence, and for the rest, you should develop the resilience to accept what happens and respond adequately.
Identifying your triggers is especially important when it is related to monitoring anger. By looking at your daily routine, you can identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that trigger irritable or angry feelings.
5. Physical Exercise
A simple stretch or cardio can help release pent-up energy that may be misdirected elsewhere. You may not be able to get rid of your temper, but you can definitely reduce it through physical exercises.
Takeaway
Anger has a physiological response. Excessive or chronic anger affects bodily mechanisms adversely. Therefore, it is essential to learn how to keep your anger under control. Anger management through physical exercises gives a quick but temporary ability to tackle the irritant. Spiritual practices, meditation, mindfulness, and targeted therapy help in building the resilience to give a behavioral response to anger. However, if you feel that you are not able to manage it alone, it is best to get in touch with a mental health professional to learn ways of self-regulation.
