What is retroactive jealousy OCD? Is it treatable?

Retroactive jealousy OCD is a type of relationship-related obsession compulsive disorder.

While jealousy is a common emotion, sometimes it can consume our relationships. Romantic relationships thrive on trust and get divided due to jealousy. While someone who remains jealous is criticised, jealousy impacts both people in the relationship.

Sometimes we can remain jealous of our partner's past. This retroactive jealousy can cause conflict, distress and eventually breakups. When this jealousy becomes out of control and becomes all-consuming, it can turn into retroactive jealousy OCD. Unfortunately, this is not a temporary feeling and can create significant dysfunction.

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What is retroactive jealousy OCD?

Retroactive jealousy OCD can impact your and your relationships. (Image via Freepik/wayhomestudio)

Retroactive jealousy is common for people who experience relationship OCD. Retroactive means in the past, so obsessions are focused on your partner’s past relationships.

These obsessions sow jealousy, anxiety and doubt in your relationship. You may also experience that, even if these experiences may be way behind in the past.

Retroactive jealousy obsessions can show up as intrusive thoughts or images about your partner’s past intimate experiences, relationships, etc. These cause repetitive behaviors like reassurance seeking, checking, rumination and asking your partner intimate details about their past relationships.

You may feel that you need to know everything about your partner's past relationships. In some cases, individuals with retroactive jealousy may control behaviors towards them due to insecurity or high levels of anxiety.

This type of jealousy differs from normal jealousy, as it's more irrational, and the person appears 'fixated'.

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How can retroactive jealousy OCD be managed?

Jealousy can eat up relationship energy. (Image via Pexels/Markus Winkler)

The management of OCD goes beyond general advice. Psychotherapy, especially exposure and response prevention is one of the most effective modalities of treatment for OCD.

The aim of this therapy is to gradually expose you to triggers of your partner's past relationships and teach you to slowly resist compulsions. Individuals with anxiety often feel that by ignoring or avoiding triggers, they may feel better.

While that may sometimes help in the moment, in the long run, it instills a sense of deep fear. Additionally, it keeps you in the anxiety loop and doesn't allow you to get out of it.

In ERP, you are exposed to thoughts and images of your partner's past. That's not to make you anxious but helps you become less obsessed with them. It can be easier said than done, though.

However, seeking professional help for OCD becomes essential. It's important for you to know that an individual with this OCD ultimately wants to form a deep bond with you, but their anxiety is too high and dysfunctional.

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It's important to note that retroactive jealousy OCD is not the same as typical jealousy, as the former warrants treatment.

You may notice that even though people ask you to get over the past or forget their experiences, you may not be able to do it. There's no shortcut to recovering from retroactive jealousy OCD, but there are many who go through this experience.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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