PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! OH MY GOOD FREAKING LORD. ROMA 3 - 0 BARCELONA!
THAT IS ONE OF THE GREAT CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TIES OF OUR TIMES. ROMA UTTERLY, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY DESERVED THIS AND THEY HAVE BEATEN THE UNBEATABLE BARCELONA! THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE. TAKE A BOW, YOU GLADIATORS YOU
That's all from me, Anirudh Menon, as I gather my fucking breath about me. MY GOD, HOW I LOVE THIS GAME!
92' HOW THE HELL HAVE THEY ALLOWED IT! Three Barca players are offside, there's no whistle, no flag, as Pique charges onto a ball everyone thought to be dead... but Alisson is alive to the threat and gets to it before Pique. The ball makes its way to Dembele... who smashes it onto the roof of the net. On the outside
89' OH! Daniele De Rossi does sublimely well to hold the play up before playing it to Kolarov. The Serb, though, does the senseless thing and runs at Barca, losing out to Umtiti... Barca counter via Messi, the ball reaches Suarez; and his shot is straight at Manolas.
88' OH MY LORD, MESSI HAS TURNED THE FUCK UP FINALLY! He wriggles past four, passes it out Alba, takes the ball off him, tries to find the assorted mass of blue in the middle but can only pick out that rock of a man Manolas.
87' OH! ROMA LIVING DANGEROUSLY NOW! The corner bounces out to Messi, who jinks past three, lifts it past two... but can only guide a weak, unbalanced shot into Alisson's hands!
86' OH! MY! LORD! Dembele ghosts past Kolarov, running onto a Messi ball but Manolas does ever so well to smack it clear for a corner ahead of a charging Pique. By the by, Paco's on for Busquets
85' Oh Under! The Turk smashes past Alba like he doesn't exist... but sends the ball into orbit. Meanwhile, Valverde's seen enough and Dembele and Paco Alcacer have been thrown on for Semedo and... I'll tell you as sooon as I find out
What a header, oh my good lord, what a header. Kolarov sent in another one of his laser guided missiles intot he box and Manolas did oh so well to glance it brilliantly past Ter Stegen. What a header! The guys with the own goals in the Nou Camp, now have the two that could make the difference.
80' Iniesta off, Andre Gomes on... Barca want legs, and height, and something... as they cling on desperately. De Rossi plays in Under with yet another simple ball in behind, but Umtiti does well to track the young Turk's run and smother his shot.
79' ... AND OH MY LORD! EL SHARAAWY, ALMOST! First De Rossi almost found Under with a lovely ball, but the ball went out to Florenzi, whose ball into the deep was an absolute peach - and EL SHARAAWY DOES SUPERBLY TO GUIDE IT AT GOAL, WHERE TER STEGEN PULLED OFF A STUNNING REFLEX SAVE!
78' OH MY LORD! Messi is trying, but Roma are just so tight on him... he tries one of his trademark across the face of the box runs but he's stopped in his tracks by De Rossi. Oh, El Sharaawy had come on for Nainggolan during the break of play caused by Fazio's ball...
77' Suarez hobbles back to his feet, of course, he does, but as Roma move forward Florenzi is sold short, or long, by a useless ball up forward by Fazio.
76' Suarez has got a whack on the face from Jesus... not as enlightening that as it would seem... and he needs attention. Considering the state of the scoreline, I'd hazard a guess in saying that he needs a lot of attention
70' Roma are still chasing everything like a pack of rabid dogs. It takes a moment of startling calm from Busquets to nullify their pressure and restart the Roman boos. Before long, though, Semedo sends a useless ball floating into the hands of Alisson.
69' UFF! Kolarov curls it in, Pique thumps it out... from the throw, Strootman curls beautifully into the far post where De Rossi beats Alba in the air, but can't direct his header on target. CLOSE AGAIN!
67' OH NAINGGOLAN! Dzeko hurled a ball into the box that Umtiti could only head to Strootman. The Dutchman then picked out his Belgian mate with a lovely dink and off-balance he tried a shot that Ter Stegen saved comfortably enough
66' AH! A promising Roma move ends when, whipped up by the emotion and the passion, Kevin Strootman sends the ball into the Mediterranean... and Ter Stegen gets a talking to for wasting time with his goalkick. Hahaha.
63' Corner for Barca - which they obviously play short - but Aleksander Kolarov does ever so well to intercept ahead of Leo Messi and the great man goes into the book for a cynical trip on the flying Serb.
62' OH! HO! HO! Suarez does a quite incredible rainbow flick over Florenzi, but just before doing it handled the ball with the skill off a basketball player. Naughty, but that touch of magic... Luis Suarez in a nutshell, that
61' UFF! Messi tries to pitch-wedge one into the path of Suarez... but that's not happening under Manolas' watch; the Catalans have woken up from their slumber alright.
59' Fazio lays into Iniesta at the halfway line... and the Barca players complain vociferously asking for a second yellow. A bit rich considering Pique's luck just moments ago.
Pique just can't get a handle on Dzeko and he drags him down before hacking him from behind. He's a lucky, lucky, man to stay on the pitch - just a yellow
56' Iniesta CAN be caught in possession legally. Shick does so using sheer muscle power before screaming into the box where Umtiti does the same to him. WOOF! Great defending.
53' It's soo hard to get the ball off Iniesta, isn't it? Strootman gets fed up with all the nibbling-at-heels and steamrolls over the Spaniard in an attempt to get to the ball. Nothing doing... foul, says the ref.
52' OH! Fazio takes a chance in trying to play the ball out of the back - Messi latches onto it but Suarez's return is too unruly to find its way back to the boots of the little magician.
51' OH HO! Some slick passing, finally, from Barca sees one-twos get exchanged till Roberto screams forward into space down the right... where Manolas comprehensively outmuscles him. Legally as per the ref.
50' UFF! Pique's gone to ground in trying to stop Nainggolan and it works momentarily. Roma come right back through Kolarov, but his cross is easily cut off by Semedo
49' Dzeko is winning everything that's pumped fo'ard in his direction. He holds it up brilliantly before releasing Florenzi down the right; the Roman's cross is a bit too deep for Nainggolan's run and his second attempt is a bit too undercooked and Umtiti hacks it clear.
48' Pass-pass go Barca... BOOOOO go the Olimpico. Kolarov wins back possession soon enough and Nainggolan tries the early ball forward to Dzeko but Umtiti ducks away confidently from it and allows the ball to roll into the hands of Ter Stegen. Great awareness that, from the Frenchman
47' Barca try a variation of the Roma high press and it works for a bit as Messi gets the ball off a hurried hoof-up-the-park to Dzeko that he couldn't control; but the Romans wrest back control soon enough
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THAT IS ONE OF THE GREAT CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TIES OF OUR TIMES. ROMA UTTERLY, TOTALLY, COMPLETELY DESERVED THIS AND THEY HAVE BEATEN THE UNBEATABLE BARCELONA! THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE. TAKE A BOW, YOU GLADIATORS YOU
That's all from me, Anirudh Menon, as I gather my fucking breath about me. MY GOD, HOW I LOVE THIS GAME!
Toodle-ooo!