Earlier this week there was a Media Conference Call Q&A with Mickey Gall and your favorite ex-WWE Champ and middle-aged curmudgeon, CM Punk, to promote UFC 203. It was a lot of circular talk about how the two fighters respect each other, fighting is tough and/or fun.
And then, at around 40 minutes into this drone impersonating contest, we get the answer to the question we’ve all been waiting for: Does CM Punk know who Brock Lesnar is?
Alright, not exactly.
The question was actually from Damon Martin from Fox Sports and the actual question was basically “Did your friend Brock give you any advice and did you even talk to him?”
To which Punk replied “I did. On and off but nothing really major to speak on. He offered me advice picked my brain whatever...asked me questions no matter how stupid or what…”
Compelling stuff, right there. But there HAS GOT TO BE more to it, right?!
Punk’s just playing coy, keeping an ace up near his Pepsi tattoo. I listened to this part of the audio almost 30 times and I think I have an idea of what happened behind the scenes/in the locker room/email/text message/via Skype.
What I Hope Happened:
Brock told CM Punk that he would give him all the advice he would need...for all of his money. Not just the fight purse, like, every dime Punk has in his bank account and even some of his more valuable Fantastic 4 comics. Punk obviously said no and both parties continued on with their lives.
What Probably Happened:
Brock’s advice was “Eat only Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwiches leading up to the fight, then double that after the fight, for the rest of your life.”
What REALLY Happened:
Brock ate CM Punk. The man you see today and who will fight Mickey Gall on Sept 10th is a stand in. His name is Chuck “Steak” Serri, the lead singer of a New York Harcore band from the late 80s called War Ball.
The UFC put too much money into this fight to cancel it because one of their fighters literally ingested another. Not even in a fight or anything, just for snacks and giggles.
You can listen to the whole thing here. It’s almost an hour long. The Brock stuff is at around the 40:20 mark. The swears are peppered throughout. It’s ok.