Bayern Munich vs Hertha Berlin: Bundesliga recap

The German coaching legend Sepp Herberger once said: “The game lasts 90 minutes.” Decades later, it turns out that he was wrong at least once. This game only lasted 13 minutes, the remainder of the match was mainly fun (for one team). The comeback of former FCB players was celebrated without the presents they had wished for: goals and points for their new club.

This time, let’s start with the opponent’s lineup: Hertha started pretty much as expected, only the still slightly unfit Adrian Ramos had to be replaced by Pierre-Michel Lasogga, so their starting eleven featured Thomas Kraft, Andreas Ottl and Christian Lell, the three aforementioned comeback kids. Bayern’s lineup included Anatoliy Tymoshchuk (Luiz Gustavo wasn’t even a part of the squad) and Daniel van Buyten, meaning Rafinha wasn’t fit enough to start, Jerome Boateng acted as his substitute. Expect Rafinha and Gustavo to start on Tuesday.

If you were looking forward to Franck Ribery v Christian Lell, it didn’t even take a minute for you to realize that this is gonna be a very onesided fight. Lell mishandled a pass and Ribery, quick as a lightning, stole said round object from the right-back but waited too long to fire a shot at the goal. Chance to score an early goal wasted? It wasn’t the only one.

Merely five minutes into the match, Ribery passed the ball to Mario Gomez (although Thomas Müller was left completely unmarked). Gomez, with a bit of luck and a lot of determination, managed to get himself into a good position to shoot the ball and did so. The ball was like an elephant, slow and seemingly harmless but in reality deadly. Too accurate to be saved by Kraft, the early goal was there.

What now? Sit back and enjoy the lead? Not Bayern. Jerome Boateng, more left midfielder than left-back today, and an excellent one at that, again went past opponents and delivered a perfect pass to Franck Ribery to only had to redirect it into the net. 2-0.

But they just couldn’t get enough. Another shot from outside the box (albeit this one was a bit faster), this time it was Bastian Schweinsteiger. No chance for Thomas Kraft, 3-0 after 13 minutes. One goal every 4 minutes and 20 seconds, if they continued like that the final result would’ve been 20-0 or 21-0, depending on added time. Don’t worry, they didn’t continue like that. They didn’t stop, either. Thomas Müller wasted a hell of a chance (red-letter day!), Mario Gomez’ shot was saved by Kraft and I probably forgot several other chances.

The second half wasn’t as entertaining. Bayern continued to waste a chance or two (Philipp Lahm) and was awarded a penalty Mario Gomez converted. Andre Mijatovic had a last-minute chance to beat Manuel Neuer but apparently preferred to aim at the audience. Excellent FCB performances all around, I enjoyed watching Jerome Boateng, Anatoliy Tymoshchuk, Franck Ribery and Bastian Schweinsteiger in particular.

Goals: