Champions League Quarterfinal Recap: Marseille v Bayern 0-2

Yabba Dabba Doo, not good but still scored two. I can’t come up with a better intro.

As usual, let’s start with the weapons of choice. Jupp Heynckes surprised…nobody, he fielded the eleven players everybody expected. Didier Deschamps wasn’t any more innovative, striker Loic Remy turned out to be fit enough to play so he started instead of Brandao.

The match began and it didn’t take long to realize what OM’s plan looks like. In case the club still needs an anthem, this would be a decent solution based on yesterday’s approach. Marseille wanted to make Bayern feel uncomfortable by being quite aggressive. Unfortunately, it worked. It was anything but a typical FCB match, the players struggled to gain control in the opposing half so most attacks were deep runs without much passing.

The hosts, aside from really good corner kicks, were dangerous when playing quick counter-attacks, often initiated by long balls. As soon as Bayern’s defense could regroup, OM were clueless, they like playing a possession-based style as much as Rick Santorum likes women who can talk.

Speaking of which, what do OM fans and Santorum have in common? Both hate the left-wing. Since they were already protesting the own team’s performances by not supporting them, they decided to focus their energy on hating Franck Ribery. As we all know, the French winger (body height: 3.75 Valbuena) does not like not being liked so the relatively poor performance was no real surprise.

That other winger known as Robben, who doesn’t look any younger than OM coach Deschamps, by the way, once again proved what an egoist he is by not allowing Philipp Lahm to stop all opponents by himself. Said Lahm was sublime, too, just like the calm Holger Badstuber and Manuel Neuer. Not so enjoyable were the performances of Jerome Boateng, as wild and disoriented as a warthog, and Toni Kroos who wasted the huge chance to be the leader in midfield. Ball control was much-needed and Kroos didn’t deliver.

Fortunately, OM decided to play with an Andrade instead of a keeper. A Mario Gomez goal from outside the box is random enough but this one was as accidental as it gets. Don’t forget to send him a fruit basket as thank-you, Mario.

The second half was just as weird, neither team looked really good, although it was obvious that only the guys in red were at least capable of improving. One of the few serious attacks in the second half led to a second goal for Bayern, a nice combination between Thomas Müller and Arjen Robben ended a goal scored by the Dutchman.

A deserved 2-0 win, a good result for the second leg, but also one of the weaker performances, this should’ve been a much easier win maybe even with more goals but Marseille’s body strength seemed to disturb the players too much. Oh, and Bastian Schweinsteiger was booked, meaning that he won’t be available for the match in Munich. Quite a pity, nobody wanted to see that happen.

Goals:

  • 0-1 Gomez (44?)
  • 0-2 Robben (69?)

Subs:

  • Marseille:
    • Brandao (Amalfitano, 68?)
    • Benoit Cheyrou (Diarra, 71?)
  • FC Bayern:
    • Anatoliy Tymoshchuk (Kroos, 63?)
    • Bastian Schweinsteiger (Müller, 71?)
    • Danijel Pranjic (Ribery, 78?)

Team stats (Marseille-Bayern):

  • Ball possession: 43% – 58%
  • Shots taken: 10 – 6
  • Corner kicks: 6 – 6
  • Fouls committed: 18 – 17

Leading player stats (Marseille-Bayern):

  • Shots taken: Loic Remy (3) – Robben/Gomez (2 each)
  • Fouls committed: Stephane Mbia (6) – Mario Gomez (3)

Other Champions League matches:

Next match: Saturday at Nürnberg (Bundesliga), 3.30 pm

Edited by Staff Editor