Fake Football Fans - An Annoying Breed

Football is the world’s most popular sport and rightly so. But it does attract a lot of those fake fans that every true fan hates. Especially nowadays in India with the sport reaching never-before-seen heights of popularity, the number and density of fake fans have increased manifold. The increase in popularity can only be a good thing for the sport in our country, but I find it very irksome to walk into school and get confronted by these Fake Football Fans.

Here are a few awkward conversations I’ve been through with Fake Football Fans (FFF):

#1. This one was with a Chelsea and a Barcelona fan while my friends and I were playing Football player word-builder. I got the letter ‘A’. That’s right, CHELSEA and BARCELONA!

Me: Azpilicueta!

FFF: Which team is he in?

Me: Um… Chelsea, dude!

FFF: *Laughs* Yeah, right! Don’t lie, man. I know Chelsea like the back of my hand!

And that’s when I made a rude hand gesture towards him and walked away.

#2. This one was with a ‘die-hard’ United fan.

Me: Dude, did you watch the United vs City match last night?

FFF: What match? Did Man U win?

And that’s when I made a rude hand gesture towards him and walked away.

#3. This one was with a Manchester City fan.

Me: So, since when have you been supporting City?

FFF: Since April 2012.

And that’s when I made a rude hand gesture towards him and walked away.

#4. This one was with an Arsenal fan.

Me: So, you still annoyed with the Robin van Persie transfer to United?

FFF: Wait, RVP’s not in Arsenal anymore?!

And that’s when I made a rude hand gesture towards him and walked away.

#5.

FFF: You watch Soccer?

Me: ….

And that’s when I made a rude hand gesture towards him and walked away.

All of a sudden, everyone’s ‘into’ football!

Everyone’s a United fan, but most of them have no idea what happened in Moscow in 2008.

Everyone’s a Chelsea fan since their Champions League victory.

Everyone’s a City fan since the Premier League victory.

Everyone’s a Barcelona fan, just because it’s cool.

Everyone’s a Madrid fan. They know Cristiano Ronaldo but not Sergio Ramos.

So, to all those ‘fans’ saying ‘GGMU’ or ‘KTBFFH’ or ‘Hala Madrid’ or ‘YNWA’ or ‘COYG’ without having watched a single full 90 minute match of the club they ‘support’, I extend the aforementioned rude hand gesture to you on behalf of all the true fans out there. You guys have to get a life, suck it up and actually start watching football for the love of the beautiful game, and not just because it sounds cool.

Football is universal. Anyone can relate to it. For instance, everyone from a 7-year-old to an 87-year-old feels that rush of adrenaline during the penalty shoot-out of a Champions League final or the 96th minute of a Manchester Derby or an El Clasico when the scores are level. This cannot happen in any other sport, in my opinion.

Former Liverpool manager Bill Shankly was famously quoted as saying, “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that”.

For some people, football is life. You pick a club and you stick with it, through thick and thin. Here’s to the fans who stay up till 4 am to watch their club play. Here’s to the fans who watch every match their team plays, not just the semi-finals and finals. Here’s to the fans who wait in the rain for hours on end for tickets to watch their club play. Here’s to the true Football Fans.