Season Review - English Premier League

Fulham players applaud their fans after their last Premier League game

The 2013-14 EPL season is done and dusted. We’ve seen some great games, great goals, wonderful spats and almost every other thing you would expect from an EPL season.

While we wait for the impending World Cup, let us take a look at some frank season reviews for all the 20 teams that took part in this season’s Premier League.

20 – Cardiff City

As a United fan, I can only feel sorry for Ole Solskjaer. Cardiff were always one amongst the favorites to get relegated given their eccentric owner Vincent Tan. If you could’ve had a competition asking managers to sign the worst possible players ever, Cardiff would’ve won that with ease. The amount of money they spent translated to nothing. Nada.

The fans hate the owner, the owner hates the fans, the club and the country (racist comment eh?). So, if everyone hates everyone else, what was the whole point of playing anyway? Disaster from start to end is what this campaign was.

However, the moment of the season was when Blue Birds dressed in Red faced off against the Red Devils faced dressed in Blue and Kim Bo-Kyung scored in stoppage time and also that win against Manchester City.

19 – Fulham

Fulham players applaud their fans after their last Premier League game

What were they thinking? I for one did not expect Fulham to get relegated. I would most certainly miss Craven Cottage. Now, their campaign too was a disaster from start to end.

How can you expect to stay up if you change managers twice in one season? Rene Meulensteen was a rejected coach and he was made their manager. Why? To bring fringe players from United? Well, that is what he did and it backfired tremendously. The January transfer window let them down and how!

Other than that Kasami goal against Palace, I don’t remember anything memorable from Fulham’s season.

18 – Norwich City

I’ve always liked Norwich but they failed to score goals. 28 goals (the lowest in the league) is not going to help you to survive. As simple as that.

I thought they went bananas when they fired Chris Hughton. But, Hughton was getting too pragmatic about the way of things but that didn’t warrant the club to fire the man who knows how to survive with a month before the season ends. If your star striker scores 1 goal in 25 appearances, there is nothing much you can do is there?

17 – West Bromwich Albion

Yes, the same West Brom that finished 8th last season and denied Alex Ferguson a victorious send off by playing a great game. Well, not the same West Brom. Lukaku was not there and Steve Clarke was fired halfway through the season.

Steve Clarke’s dismissal still boggles me. Maybe that can be justified by his signing of Nicolas Anelka. It was a fantastic experience watching the legend take (what 2 months?) to score his first goal, acting like a total douche bag after scoring and getting himself sacked!

16 – Hull City

A good season? I would say so. It worked fine for Bruce. Safety before April and the FA cup final. So, Europe next season. The fans are visibly happy. They sang “Stand Up if You are going to Europe” at Old Trafford.

Unlike Cardiff, Hull did not bend over to the whims and wishes of its owner. So, Bruce went and made a team with all Premier League rejects – Huddlestone, Jelavic, Long, Harper and Livermore and it worked.

But there is a pattern with Bruce’s teams. He offers them stability in the first years and leaves the club when the going gets tough. Is that going to be a problem for Hull next year?

15 – Aston Villa

They will be disappointed. Villa pull in 38,000 people on average every home game. They are proud, faithful fans.

Villa are not a bad team. Benteke and Adbonglahor are able strikers but their inconsistency is so very consistent. Villa are the only team in the league who can be lively, dull, pacey, slow, boring and attractive all in a same match.

In this season, they have defeated Arsenal, Manchester City and Chelsea. They also drew against Liverpool. And, still finished 15th? Says a lot doesn’t it?

14 – Sunderland

This is Sunderland’s season report – Bad, BAD, so very BAD, bad, AWESOME. And, they stayed in the Premier League finished 14th and earned themselves a trip to Wembley.

Out of the last available 18 points, they gathered 13 that too against the likes of Man City, Man United and Chelsea. Great escape it was!

13 – West Ham

I don’t understand the obsession with Andy Carroll. Why do you have to overhead pass every single ball to Carroll? West Ham are undoubtedly the new Stoke City of the Premier League.

To clearly state how bad they were, let me tell you an example. Jose Mourinho, the man who invented the Bus claimed that West Ham were playing 19th century football. That bad.

It worked alright. They got in some good, solid wins but oh my god! It was a pain watching them play.

12 – Swansea

There was a guy named Michu right? Was he sold or what? Where did he go? Well, Swansea too are wondering the same. 15 starts and Michu scored 2 goals.

They however were saved by another striker – Wilfried Bony, who scored 16 times.

The general opinion is this – How could they fire Laudrup? The guy was so good! (Mainly because I don’t remember when they won games and how they managed to finish at 12th)

11 – Crystal Palace

Tony Pulis Crystal Palace

Tony Pulis transformed Crystal Palace’s fortunes and took them to 11th from 20th

What a great season and what great fans! They could be the Galatasaray of English football. Well, without the fireworks. Your team is 3-0 down against the potential champions. What do you do? Sulk, eat prawn sandwiches and leave the stadium early to avoid the crowd?

Tell that to Palace fans and they’ll laugh at you. At 3-0 down against Liverpool, they kept on chanting and singing and their team went on to pull off the impossible. They play fearlessly mainly because Tony Pulis is fearless.

10 – Newcastle United

Ok. 10th place finish. Decent Enough right? Wrong.

When Newcastle offered Pardew a six year contract, most of them lauded the decision because they thought that Pardew would bring stability to the club and avoid chaos. Oh the Irony.

Newcastle’s first half of the season was memorable. They defeated Manchester United at Old Trafford (well, who didn’t?) and ended 2013 with victories over Palace and Stoke. And, after that, they lost 13 games from the remaining 18.

Then began the chaos. Pardew began headbutting players, abusing people and antagonizing the fans. He sold his best player and benched the next best.

Pardew has lost it and he needs to go feel Newcastle supporters. But, Mike Ashley, the owner of the club who is famous for ‘losing it’ has decided that Pardew will stay. How interesting!

9 – Stoke City

Stoke City were one of the odds on favorites to get relegated this season. They had one set of players who know how to play in a certain way and a manager who wanted to play in another way.

But, Hughes did pull a surprise. He made them play decent football and made Charlie Adam score. He deserved the LMA award just for the last thing in my opinion.

8 – Southampton

Their fans claim that they are the Barcelona of England (Or, the Swansea City of this season). Mauricio Pochettino still maintains that he can’t speak in English to the press and media because he can’t convey his thoughts properly.

But, his team is doing okay. They are going to make a truck load of money. Shaw will be sold, Lallana will follow suit. What about Pochettino himself? Tottenham is looking likely. So, what is the point in talking about them? They are going to get relegated next season.

7 – Manchester United

Manchester United had a season to forget

Manchester United had a season to forget

Oh. Where do I begin?

Murphy’s Law states that Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. And, that is what happened at Manchester United.

The same team sans Fellaini, Januzaj and Mata were crowned as the English Champions in April, 2013. And how the mighty have fallen.

Let us for a minute assume that David Moyes is indeed a fine manager and leave all the tactics out of it. Start with the summer transfer window. Cesc Fabregas. Really? Do you really expect Fabregas to leave his boyhood club in just 2 seasons to come back and play for David Moyes?

And, the Ander Herrera fiasco. And United ended up paying way more than the buyout clause for Fellaini.

Alex Ferguson claimed that he would kick Liverpool off their perch and he wanted the media to print that. David Moyes aspired to play like Manchester City. The Fundamental Difference.

Januzaj, an 18 year old skinny kid is the team’s single biggest winger and that should say a lot about how bad United were. Moyes signed Mata and admitted that he had no idea where to play him.

United this year made you wonder how Sir Alex made people like Young, Cleverley and Valencia play football. Like I said, anything that could go wrong did go wrong for United.

6 – Tottenham Hotspur

I don’t know if Spurs know this or not but this is the truth – A selling club can never win the League. Carrick, Berbatov, Keane, Bale and Modric. All 5 their best players and all five sold.

In an entirely Football Manager inspired manner, Daniel Levy splashed around 100 million in buying players from different leagues and assembled them together. It might’ve worked in FM but not here.

The sad thing is, Tottenham never learn from their mistakes. Year after year, it is the same story. They want to be the Champions but play like a relegation threatened team especially against the Top – 4 teams.

Their conceded 23 goals and scored only one against the Top 3.

Sherwood is going and he had to go. He had no philosophy and just expected his team to win. They need a Manager who has the balls to tell Levy to shut it.

5 – Everton

Record point tally for Everton. They claim that they are apparently better without David Moyes. Proof? They finished one place higher up in the table! Yay!

Leave all the good football notion alone. Martinez in his first season has had a great season. No doubt. But, he does not have anything to show off. And, Lukaku will return to his club.

A fourth place finish would have been fantastic for Everton but without it, this season is just like any of the other ten seasons they had under David Moyes.

4 – Arsenal

Wenger must go – July

In Wenger we Trust – August (After Ozil).

This is our year – October

We are winning it this year, maybe a double! – December

Wenger must go – March

Come on. Let’s push for No.4 – April

In Wenger we Trust – May (After the FA Cup) ?

I don’t want to say anything else. Because, anything other than this in-a-loop pattern is irrelevant.

3 – Chelsea

Mourinho apparently didn’t want to win anything this year. Well, that is what he has saying to everyone ever since he took over the club.

Its hard to understand Mourinho. He wins games alright. He won home and away against both Liverpool and Man City and still ended up 3rd.

You don’t play games with Mourinho. That bit is very clear. If he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t. He sold his best player and called his next best player as mentally not fit to sacrifice himself for the team.

All this is kind of expected of Mourinho. But, a transfer window failure? That is something different. It was apparent that Chelsea needed strikers. Mourinho kept on chasing Rooney whom he had very little chance of signing. That is not something we associate with him. That is probably what cost Chelsea the title. And, as we expected the Diego Costa deal is almost over even before the season ends in Spain.

Mourinho’s second years are always the most productive. Will he take Chelsea to the title next year?

2 – Liverpool

I don’t understand the concept of all the neutrals wanting Liverpool to win the League. Who are these neutrals anyway? Arsenal fans?

They have conceded more than 50 goals for the first time since 1914. If they hadn’t scored 100+ goals, they would have been in the lower mid table dog fight. That is how bad their defense was. You cannot expect to win the League with that defense.

And, what is this bollocks that we hear about Steven Gerrard deserving to win the League? Ledley King played for 15 years at Tottenham. Does he deserve it too?

If you deserve to win the league, you better win the league. There is no way around that. You don’t celebrate as if you have won the league after defeating someone with still four more games to go.

Still, despite all that, what Brendan Rodgers has achieved at Liverpool is mind-boggling. Now, he needs to keep Luis Suarez if he wants to have a go at it next year.

1 – Manchester City

Leave all the oil rigs and millions out of it. You still had to put down a team and manage to win the most number of games over a period of 38 games in 9 months. They did that.

They were not looking as if they could do it. But, they did it. Just 15 days. 15 days in 9 months they occupied the top spot and it was enough. Yes, they need to send a big thank you card to Jose Mourinho and Steven Gerrard. But, unlike Liverpool they didn’t let it slip.

Take out Yaya Toure and see what you get – Not the League Champions. May be a No.4 team. That is how vital this man has been. He was my Player of the Season.

Manchester City players celebrate their title victory with their coaching staff

Manchester City players celebrate their title victory with their coaching staff

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