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5 Reasons why Extraaa Innings should be banned

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are the author’s own. It is to be taken with a pinch of salt.

6 years of non-stop dullness, the lamest jokes, the silliest outfits and so much “hamming”; and I’m perilously close to doing something increasingly stupid or dangerous to stop the madness. This trend of mixing Bollywood with cricket started with Mandira Bedi’s noodle-strap coverage of the 2003 World Cup, and spilled over into the IPL. I’m all for innovative ideas and fresh thoughts, but we mustn’t overdo things in the slightest – the concept of Marginal Utility (Managerial Economics in first year MBA did teach me something) comes into play.

But I am digressing. I must get back on track. Here are some of the reasons why Extraaa Innings should be banned:

5. Why are there so many ‘a’s?

Wouldn't a single 'a' have worked?

Wouldn’t a single ‘a’ have worked?

The fascination with numerology in the entertainment industry is fast reaching ridiculous proportions. I blame Ekta Kapoor (or is it Ektaaaaaaaaaa?) for this. Cricket has no place for numerology and all that mumbo-jumbo. Extraaa Innings is just a cricket show – adding TWO extra ‘a’s to make it ‘successful’ isn’t a long-term success strategy. The kind of changes this programme has undergone over the years leads me to think that the extra ‘a’s signifies the pain the show causes the viewers. Aaaaaaa!

4. Kiwi Shoe Polish – The Secret of Lifelong Wisdom

Former cricketer Ajay Jadeja’s locks are liberally sprinkled with white. I have it from unnamed (unauthorized) sources that he adds a dollop of Kiwi Shoe Polish to his hair whenever he visits the studio. Apparently, applying a healthy dose of this whitener gives you long-lasting wisdom. Maybe I should do the same, it’ll help me to at least hold my own the next time I am in the middle of an important discussion. Jokes apart – the focus is again stolen from cricket, which destroys the very purpose of the show.

3. Glamour Quotient – High. Cricket Quotient – Satisfactory?

The IPL is all about glitz and glam. Naturally, Extraaa Innings had to incorporate the razzmatazz of the glamour world. Now, I’m not complaining – it is an excellent marketing tool that enables strong viewership numbers. But it diverts attention from the actual cricket – players to watch out for, proper SWOT analysis of teams, prospects etc.

2. Unbridled “Hamming”

As if the Sidhuisms weren’t enough, every single personality who has appeared on Extraaa Innings indulges in “hamming”. By this, I refer to the corniest jokes, the fake laughter and the other nonsense you see on screen. Folks, this isn’t a reality show; it’s cricket. Keep the focus on the game, and not on the senseless humour. That’s the problem with mixing Bollywood and cricket – you end up with a lot of illogical and, at times, insane conversations instead of good, solid cricketing discussions. It is why I prefer to watch “Cover Drive”.

1. Dil Jumping Jhapang Jampak Jampak….HELP!

Someone please ban her from coming on TV!

Someone please ban her from coming on TV!

If I hear this one more time, I’m going to streak naked through the entire city of Mumbai chanting “Om Namoh Shivay”. It’s bad enough that they play it in between innings, but to keep the ad on repeat and play havoc with people’s minds is uncalled for. The irritating tune has made me want to pull off every strand of hair on my head. Why on Earth must they subject innocents to this kind of torture just to draw in TRPs? Farah Khan, you’re a great choreographer, but an equally skilled headache generator. For the love of God, please stop this madness so we can enjoy a game of cricket with whatever’s left of our sanity. Please!

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