Favorites Edit

Doctor Who Changes Players' Realities

Tim Holt
652   //    01 Jul 2011, 19:51 IST

Just been sucked through a vortex and trapped in a time continuum involving 8 cricketers from the present…

And two parallel universes for them…

The one they have now in 2011 and the one I can create with a bit of tinkering!

So hopefully it doesn’t lead to the collapse of the whole universe, but let me cheeky in creating that new reality!

Saqlain Mushtaq (Pakistan)

As we saw this genius off spinner be inexplicably banished from the World scene in 1994. We thought we’d change this decision that befuddled all cricket fans and broke the hearts of all Pakistani’s.

We visited the Pakistani Cricket Board just before this decision was to be made and transported the men who made the decision to the dark side of the Moon.

Then we gained a Coach of great calibre in Bobby Simpson and a genius Head of Selectors in Trevor Hohns. Disguising them in the cloak of their abducted Pakistani counterparts.

New Reality:

Thus the decision to banish Saqlain never happened and now he is still dominating the Test arena with 650 Test Wickets from his 120 Test career.

Then touted as a near certainty to beat Muttiah Muralidaran’s World record mark in Tests. To match the record Saqlain holds in Odi cricket

Irfan Pathan (India)

My word what has happened to our young Indian prodigy??

The man is mentally destroyed by so many trying to change him or shape him. When he was what India so needed. Then he was driven into the ground by the amount he was played and his body broke down.

So whole load of old codswallop to me!

Hence we have snuck cloaked into Irfan Pathan’s bedroom in 2003 and used Cyberman technology to operate on him. Creating an unbreakable Irfan Pathan before his career even begun

Then we transported Wasim Akram from 2011 to be Irfan’s full time mentor with Indian Coaches told strictly to adhere to Wasim’s suggestions.

Lastly and I’m sure Indian’s won’t worry..

We gave Sourav Ganguly a ride in the Tardis with Greg Chappell and allowed him to drop the Aussie into a Black Hole

New Reality:

Irfan now reaching his 100th Test has near on 400 wickets and 10 Test Centuries being widely regarded as a Modern day great.

Stuart MacGill (Australia)

Sonta Son ta ha………Sonta Son ta ha…….

Oh terribly sorry was just reminiscing on that catchy little Sontaran war chant…..

Though we are going to steal some of their Culture to fix the future of this Australian leg spinner….

Poor Stuart MacGill and his dreadful timing. Born into an era of the immortal Shane Warne, so though he achieved much. He never was allowed to fulfil his immense potential

So in 1998 Stuart MacGill dreams of being dipped in a Sontaran cloning vat and then waking up as a 27 year old in 2011.

Is indeed reality!

New Reality:

Macgill is selected for the Sri Lankan tour and with his very refined leg spin rips apart Sri Lanka. Starting what will be a very impressive career

Marcus Trescothick (England)

A man that was inspiring thoughts of greatness until tragically stricken by the paralysing effects of depression. So his career ended when it was really about to begin.

We can make him like a Cyberman and devoid him of feeling, but that would take away his greatest strength in his passion.

So instead we will use Time Lord mind manipulation to allow him to feel eternal calm for his mind will be in a Zen.

New Reality:

He is viewed in 2011 as the English version of Virender Sehwag and respected as a fine England Captain. He has 30 Test centuries and is considered as one of the best slips fielders in the game

Herschelle Gibbs (South Africa)

My word talent with a capital T in this South Africa batsmen.

Though he struggled with the games demands and in a sense was like a bird that had feathers so full of colour that he was never meant to be caged. In what is symbolised by the demands of the Modern age and the South African cricketing ethos. That is very unyielding and stringent

So we have lent some Swahili Culture and infested the South African set up in 1996 as well as Gibbs with ‘Hakuna Matata’. So with this new ‘no worries’ mentality loosening up South Africa a free spirit like Gibbs.

He excels!

New Reality:

A veteran of the triumphant 1999 World Cup win and over 130 Tests with 35 Test centuries. Gibbs has announced his retirement after the Australia series in November being widely acknowledge as a great of the game and one of it’s most compelling entertainers

Dwayne Bravo (West Indies)

The man who should be Captaining the West Indies now and excelling with both bat and ball…..

That was his destiny….

Though by choice he has frittered his talent away and is more and more being viewed as a case of ‘What if’. Then worse indulging in the side show that is the Indian Premier League and forsaking the needs of West Indian cricket.

We have trekked the Time Vortex to find the essence of Sir Frank Worrell soul and his pride in the West Indies Cricket Team. Then infecting it into Bravo’s being. So he no longer thinks IPL-only West Indies. Then with Worrell essence in him. He has a steely resolve to lead men by his inspiration and thus be everything he should be

New Reality:

When asked as West Indian skipper about Trinidad and Tobago maybe going it alone. He replies we are one under the West Indies banner. Then duly puts in an inspirational performance in the third Test against India with his 10th Test century batting at 3. Capping off an all round performance by getting 6/50 in India’s 2nd innings to propel his Team to a great victory.

Hence viewed as the man to emulate Jacques Kallis career

Shane Bond (New Zealand)

Fate cruel fate on this fine New Zealand fast bowler.

Who was devastating in all forms of cricket when he could get on the field. Sadly he was off it more than he was on it

So we need to find a manner to have him be on the field…..Thus we have bottled in my last regeneration some Time Lord regenerative matter and used it on Shane Bond.

Thus as soon as a muscle tear it heals and if a bone breaks it mends. Then 36 is his age, but youth will always be his reality

New Reality:

Beloved in New Zealand for his role in winning the 2007 World Cup against the arch enemy Australia. Where he destroyed the Australian batting getting 6/30. Then in the Test arena he is approaching 400 wickets as his 100th Test approaches

Lasith Malinga (Sri Lanka)

The Sri Lankan quick who opted out of Test cricket citing an inability to deal with the demands physically. Though he is still fit enough to play in the Indian Premier League and all of Sri Lanka’s One Day Internationals and T20′s

So seeing we have travelled the Galaxy deep into the future understanding high tech medical knowledge. We put Malinga in a time lock as he sleeps and cure all his ills. Making him in peak physical shape. More than able to play Tests

New Reality:

This is difficult, for if Malinga was indeed able to play in Tests would he indeed play?

For we don’t know if this injury was an excuse and money was the real motivation for opting out of Tests for T20 and in particular the IPL riches

So you decide your opinion on this…………..

Tim Holt
Cricket through the eyes of an Irishman. Do check out more on my blog <a href="">atouchofirishintheglobalvillage</a>
Fetching more content...