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Fake Interview: Gautam Gambhir talks about cricket and life beyond it

The best Gautam Gambhir interview that never happened.

FEATURED WRITER
Humor 15 Nov 2016, 15:13 IST
1.46K

So recently, our in-house Sportskeeda journalist caught up with Gautam Gambhir for an exclusive tête-à-tête. Gambhir was at his candid best in the interview, where he talked about cricket, two Rahuls, the Dalai Lama and life beyond cricket. Also, post the interview, our journalist did not turn up to work for a week and is believed to have permanently moved to Southern Tanzania.

SK Journalist: So Rahul has been drafted into the squad for the second Test. What do you have to say about that?

GG: It’s great to see Rahul back in the squad. It’s not easy for someone to make a comeback at the age of 43, and now given that he is also mentoring the India’s Under-19 and A teams too. He’s an inspiration for all of us.

SK Journalist: Err. Gautam, It’s KL Rahul who is making a comeback not Rahul Dravid.

GG: Oh! My bad. KL Rahul is an absolute future batting star for India. He has grown leaps and bounds in international cricket, and he truly reminds me of my days as a young batsman (Smirks). If he keeps batting the way he does, I am sure he’s going to top score in two World Cup finals for India (gives a winks).

SK Journalist: According to reports, KL Rahul is also likely to replace you in the final eleven for the Vizag Test.

GG: KL Rahul is an absolute amateur when it comes to international cricket. He still has a long way to go before he can make the cut at the highest level. You see, he is yet to fully go through the finer struggles required to carve out a successful international career like I did. 

SK Journalist: Your replies have a ring of enmity towards KL Rahul. Tell us honestly Gautam - are you feeling the heat?

GG: I’ll be frank – I do feel the heat. Living in central Delhi can be sweltering at times, and add to that the chaos on roads with all that traffic. My God! Going out on evening walks with my wife can be a tough task. I am planning to start a ‘Go Pure’ campaign across Delhi to make the capital free from all evils. With me being a true symbol of tranquility and purity, I will be an apt face for the campaign.

SK Journalist: Oh okay. But what about your current form..

(Gambhir interrupts)

GG: In fact, I have always been this way. All throughout my career, I have practised zen-like calmness on the field.  Every time Shahid Afridi or Kamran Akmal lost their mind in the middle, I was there, showing them the ‘Gauti approach to mindfulness’. It’s a therapeutic technique, you see. I should come out with a series of books on this actually; maybe get the Dalai Lama to write the foreword for my book.

SK Journalist: Oh okay. So you are 35 right now. How many years do you think you will play cricket?

GG: Age is just a number, my friend. I genuinely believe I have another 10 years of cricket left in me.

SK Journalist: That’s a big statement to make.

GG: Well, I think I’ll play cricket for two more years. For the next 8 years, I will come out with a series of movies on my life and cricket –  you know, just like MSG. I’ll call my series of movies’ as MGG, which stands for ‘Main Gautam Gambhir’. The first movie will disclose some insightful snippets about my life from Class 2 to Class 10, while the second movie will reveal why I picked up the cricket bat. In fact, I’ll give you a juicy headlines for your website – the reason I became a batsman has extremely significant cultural rationales behind it.

SK Journalist: Oh, that’s nice. I do admit that India truly has a great batting culture.

GG: Batting culture? No. I picked up a bat due to Delhi culture. A bat always fills in as a handy tool whenever you want to beat a player in the middle of a game, you know, just out of boredom sake.

SK Journalist: Oh, okay. I think that’s all I want to know. Thanks Gautam for your time.

GG: Are we done? I still haven’t given you a precursor about the rest of the seven parts. In fact, in part six I jump over Ramesh Pawar in a hotel room in Pakistan and..

SK Journalist: I guess we can talk about it in the next interview.

GG: Don’t you want to know who out of Deepika or Priyanka will play the leading lady?

SK Journalist: Next time, for sure.

(At right then, our SK journalist stood up and rushed to the nearest exit).

Disclaimer: No such interview took place with Gautam Gambhir. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

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