Humour: 5 things that MS Dhoni should do during his long international break

Ms dhoni
Dhoni could rake in millions with his “helicopter shot”

MS Dhoni is enjoying some quality time with his friends and family as he has got the long deserved break after a hectic schedule of international cricket. At 35, these are the kind of breaks his body needs if he is to keep serving the nation for a longer time.

He might have made a very wise decision to retire from Tests to give his body some extra time to recover. But not someone to while away his time relaxing, what is Mahi up to during this long break?

Here are 5 things that Dhoni can do during the long international break which will make him more popular off the field.

1) Try to get a patent on his helicopter shot

The helicopter shot as we know it has come to become a trademark of the Indian limited overs captain. Though the shot is believed to have been played by other players before him, Dhoni was undoubtedly the one who made it so popular.

It cannot be forgotten that Dhoni has given the shot a new form and has single-handedly made it such an effective weapon. If correctly deployed, it is a great option when batsmen are trying to hit yorkers out of the park during the slog overs.

Dhoni can well spend his long break trying to get a patent on the helicopter shot. Given the history of patents - scientists sometimes have to run from pillar to post and are even known to have resorted to violence - it will obviously be a long and time-consuming affair. But it's worth it in the end.

Procuring the patent will make Dhoni claim the shot as his intellectual property. He can then strike up a contract with the broadcasters to flash his name on the screen every time a player plays the helicopter shot from now on. That way, he will have secured his name for posterity.

2) Perfect the para-jump from army aircraft

Ms dhoni paragliding
MS Dhoni isn’t afraid of heights

The Indian limited overs skippers' love for the military is well known. Whenever he is free, he spends time with the Indian army and even undergoes rigorous training in military training camps.

In 2011, the honourary rank of Lieutenant Colonel in the Parachute Regiment was conferred upon him. “It’s a real honour as I always wanted to be part of the Indian Army. It’s (joining the Indian Army) something that I always wanted to achieve as a kid and now that I have donned the olive greens, my dream has been fulfilled,” Dhoni had then said.

Only last year, during his training with the army, he performed five para-jumps from Indian army aircraft. Dhoni might well be utilising his time off to perfect the para-jump now. Who knows, we might have Dhoni descending from the heavens for next year's IPL inaugural ceremony!

3) Start his own bike brand

Ms Dhoni bike
Dhoni does have a penchant for fast machines

Dhoni's love for two-wheelers is well known. Mahi has a huge collection of the best bikes back home. From being fined Rs. 450 just before IPL 8 to riding with Yuvraj Singh around the ground, Dhoni's love affair with bikes is not a secret by any means.

The maverick skipper loves his bikes so much that he is known to have mended his first bike, a Rajdoot, all by himself. He is also the founder of an FIM Supersport World Championship team called the Mahi Racing Team India.

And his collection of bikes includes, believe it or not, the Harley Davidson Fatboy, the Ducati 1098, the Yamaha YZF600 Thundercat and the Confederate Hellcat X132!

This is therefore high time for Mahi to start his own brand. He can also actively be involved in designing his own beast so that he can be the first person to promote it. Imagine Dhoni zooming down the streets of Jharkhand in his own batmobile! Now, that would be something!

4) Try stand-up comedy

MS Dhoni
MS Dhoni is one of the best on the mic

Cricket has had its fair share of witty wicket-keepers but none so much as MS Dhoni. Whether on or off the field, the Indian captain is a master of conversations and has a habit of answering hostile questions from the media with his characteristically witty one-liners.

When asked to choose between the whitewash in England and that in Australia, Dhoni had famously replied, " When you die, you die. You don't see which is the better way to die." Speaking on the transition in the Indian team after the big five retired, he had once said, "From Kishore Kumar, we have gone to Sean Paul."

There's no end to Dhoni's witty aphorisms. Expert at ducking bouncers from the medias, he had, on being asked to comment on the spot-fixing controversy in the IPL, said, "We will try the laundry. That's good; will keep us clean."

Dhoni's ability to come up with apt one-liners and perfect comic timing might bring him instant success as a stand-up comedian. At least, there's no harm in trying.

5) Teach temper-management classes

Ms Dhoni
MS Dhoni is known as Captain Cool for good reason

Temper-management is a serious issue. Your job appraisal did not go your way or your spouse is pissed off at you and you end up shattering wine glasses totally ruining the situation. Like for eternity. Imagine you went for classes where they taught you some simple techniques to breathe in deeply and not let it out when you shouldn't.

Wouldn't the man who, captaining his first T20 World Cup final against Pakistan, threw the ball to the unlikeliest bowler offering to take the blame himself, be the natural choice to teach you? When you say Dhoni is Captain Cool, it is not just for his bikes and booming sixes but his laidback attitude.

Dhoni has shown the world what miracles can be achieved by staying calm and thinking clearly under pressure. It is high time now that he passed off some of that cool mantra to ordinary people around the globe. His course on temper management and staying calm under pressure are sure to be a runaway hit as soon as it is launched.

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