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MS Dhoni's Endorsements And Suggestions For Other Sports in Ads

A poem on some of MS Dhoni's endorsements and suggestions for using other sports-persons in those ads.

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Spoiler alert. Fight Club had a scene where someone shot someone they maybe didn’t really need to shoot, leaving fans puzzled. Cult fans of the movie, wonder no more. I’ve dug up the missing scene explaining why said person shot the other. Throughout the movie, Tyler Durden spouted wisdom between broken teeth and bloody lips. But he finally met his match. Here’s what happened:

Picture Tyler Durden giving his ‘This is your life’ speech to MS Dhoni.

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After the above exchange was said and done, Tyler Durden shot himself with his gun.

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Let’s get something out of the way first.
In the following lines, in this verse,
there’s no disrespect intended towards our captain.
Irrespective of how many endorsements may have backed him

What I intend to mock is the weird assumption,
which fills his pockets with a very lump sum.
The idea of a cricketer endorsing a construction company,
is one which I find, without compunction, so darn funny.

As if the premise wasn’t loose to begin with,
Take a look at how they choose to present it.

Wonder how many construction ordinances are being flaunted here?

To say nothing at all of the distractions abound of playing cricket on a construction site.
Surely having a cricket ball bouncing around constitutes a hazard to safety, right?

Wouldn’t it be better if,
rather than that, we go with this:
Around the labyrinth foyer, notice the workers carrying planks and rods,
Let’s have Kashinath Naik throwing the rods in the right place and spot.

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My pet peeve is with Parle Biscuit.
A cricketer converting to basketball is first rate. But before you wrap, at least get your facts straight.
The basket isn’t even at 10 feet.
Streets and fads don’t mask the fact that he should wield a bat, not hold a basket.

Now, instead of a cricketer…
Wouldn’t a basketball player be better?

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Quote Section 128: Carrying more than one pillion rider on a two-wheeler is an offense

As a batsman, he’s known for his drives.
I guess then there’s some connection there in this one.
It shows him driving a bike giving rides,
to one and all, ready to fall, at the slightest wind gust.

You want someone riding a bike Mr. Advertiser?
why not have one who’s a professional rider?

Alisha Abdullah

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Cute enough to be mistaken for a pit girl,

Skilled enough to have them all eat dust.

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Now we’re just forcing a connection with evolving
of a run chart morphing into a fan revolving.
With wind howling through his billowing locks
leaving a round ring on my pillow teary sogged
at the far-fetchedness of it all.

If you must morph,
morph a discus or hammer ball.
Why not give Krishna Poonia a call?

Pankha! Cricket! Connection nikalenge! Kisi bhi keemat pe!

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I can’t stress enough lads, how much his game I respect on the field.
Even dressing up for 100 ads won’t detract from it, for real.

Cricket’s a sport, where with skill, all can trump the genetic lottery.
Unlike football or basketball, where we’re still catching up to all and sundry,
Our cricket team plays and glares daggers vs the top competition.
Explaining why as brand ambassadors they’re in top position.

What I irk at, what piques me,
is how the concept is taken lightly.
While some cricket ads do stand out, Boost and Dainik Bhaskar to name a few.
Other sports are viewed with doubt, dost. And that’s just what I rue.

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MS Dhoni’s List of Endorsements

  1. Orient PSPO fan
  2. Parle Milkshakti biscuit
  3. Cello pen
  4. TVS
  5. Frito Lays
  6. Big Bazar
  7. Amrapali Group
  8. Hershey
  9. Aircel
  10. Maxx Mobile
  11. Pepsico
  12. Boost
  13. Dainik Bhaskar
  14. Siyaram’s
  15. Reebok
  16. Exide ind.
  17. BPCL
  18. Lafarge India
  19. Dabur Chawanprash
  20. Seagram
  21. Titan Sonata

The soap deal with Mysore Sandle Soap had a fallout sometime ago.

Note: Section 128 on pillion rider is real.

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