SATIRE: 5 questions that are going through Harbhajan Singh's mind

Akshy Sridhar

DISCLAIMER: This article has been written for humour purposes and should be read with a pinch of salt.

One Day Series - Australia v India

With Harbhajan Singh’s epic performance against the Aussies taking India to an eight-wicket victory, he would definitely be jubilated with the way he bowled, especially in the first innings. After guiding India to a rampaging win almost single-handedly, Bhajji is expected to lead the Indian bowling attack in the next Test. His monstrous six over the mid-wicket off Nathan Lyon and his verbal duel with Mathew Wade and Shane Watson that frightened the Aussies are said to be the turning moments of the Test match.

Harbhajan Singh looked more of a confident man in the field and the audience were pretty sure that there were a lot of things running through his mind in order to demolish the Aussies. Five revelations that are expected to surprise the cricketing fraternity have been discovered and are discussed below.

5. Am I the bowling Sachin?

Sachin Tendulkar was going through a lean patch and so was Harbhajan Himself. If Sachin’s 81 was an answer to critics, Bhajji’s doosras were a warning sent to His opponents. It was pretty obvious that the Chennai crowd cheered and applauded three men on the field with great pleasure. One was obviously the greatest batsman Sachin, the second was the greatest all-rounder Sir Ravindra Jadeja (no explanation needed) and the third was the ‘Turbanator’, Harbhajan. Also after managing the impossible of dismissing Australia’s best batsman Peter Siddle, Bhajji glanced the skies with an unbelievable charisma just like Tendulkar, affirming His similarity to the latter.

4. Should I join CSK?

Following the footsteps of classy people like Jadeja and Murali Vijay, who have become regulars in the national side after their world class performances with the Chennai Super Kings, Harbhajan might just be the next eligible candidate to join the yellow brigade. Although the only factor that might go against this move will be the absence of Mrs. Srinivasan in the CSK set-up unlike the proud Mumbai Indians’ owner Nita Ambani.

First Test - Day Two:  India v Australia

3. What should be my next song?

Harbhajan Singh could definitely bowl with his fingers closed and might wish to skip practice and then sing and dance to a few peppy numbers to add to his ever growing brand value. After his ‘Ek Suneha’ that became viral on Youtube, falling just a billion hits short of the ‘Gangnam Style,’ Harbhajan could well be in with an idea to experiment with something on the lines of ‘Bhajji Style’ and become famous just like famous Punjabi rapper ‘Yo Yo Honey Singh.’

2. How do I divert the media attention? 

Something he has managed pretty easily in the past, Bhajji has definitely been a news-maker. His on-field antics have brought him more rewards than his bowling. But the mystery continues in the target he has set this time – diverting attention to towards some other player as it does not seem fair to hog all the limelight by himself.  If it is an Indian, it should be Jadeja since he seems to be his closest competitor in emulating unmatchable giant records. Wade and Watson have already fallen into his trap and Henriques’ form might force Harbhajan to add him into his list. Jaddu’s cheeks and Henriques’ religion can be subject to damage in the coming days.

1. How do I emulate Muttiah Muralitharan?

Ever since Muttiah Muralitharan called Harbhajan the only bowler capable of emulating his records, he has been planning to do it in lesser Tests than the Sri Lankan. And his form has been on the rise with every passing Test. The crafty Harbhajan Singh, at the current rate, might become the world’s most successful spinner in no time. If the Indian team’s bowlers are able to dismiss the top-order batsmen, Bhajji could always be able to take the last four wickets in less than 50-60 overs and by the time he completes his 2ooth Test in his umpteenth comeback, Harbhajan Singh might well be a legend!

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