Satire: 7 things I learned without watching the first 2 India-South Africa ODIs, and other conspiracy theories

The ICC wants us to party like it's 1899

South Africa v India - 3rd Test Day 3

I have an American friend who once went to watch a Test Match at Lord's. Did she fall in love with cricket? No. Was she overcome with emotion as she slowly breathed in the history associated with the ground? No. Was she struck by the notion that Lord's old pavilion, and new media centre represented Cricket's attempt to stay relevant, and current, whilst at the same time respecting, and preserving its values? No.

Instead, she laughed. Her biggest takeaway from this wondrous occasion, this spectacle that any cricket lover worth their salt would give their right batting glove and both their pads for, was that the players took a break to drink tea.

I was prepared for the old "5 days no winner argument". This stumped me. I realized that to many, cricket is still seen as this stiff upper-lip, rigid game; a relic of the past. Her pulse didn't race when a fast bowler ran in, she wasn't mesmerized by the guile of a spinner, she didn't fall in love with the beauty of a cover-drive. No, she saw some parody of Cricket, this caricature painted by detractors who view it as less sport, and more about being a good sport; a bit of fun whilst running around in the sun, and then off for a spot of tea. She was wrong.

She would have felt all of that and more had she been she watching the 2nd ODI between India and South Africa. The players went off for lunch with 2 runs left to get. 2 runs. This was Cricket as my friend wrongly saw it. Rigid and unyielding for all the wrong reasons. A game played by soft players(I would like to clarify that I am not actually calling any of the players soft), who needed to eat their lunch before their tummies started growling. Of course, she would have been wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. But how can we expect an outsider to understand that one team has basically won the game, and instead of finishing it, they go off to eat lunch, when cricket lovers around the world were baffled by the same decision?

The ICC continues to prove that they are out of sync with the game, and what spectators want. This is the organisation that allowed the 2007 World Cup to end in a farce, as spinners bowled in near darkness to finish a mandatory number of overs, to end a match that was for all intents and purposes over. This is the organisation that claims it is trying to grow the game, but has World Cup qualifiers for all but the 8 top ranked teams. This is the organisation that governs the game we love.

And now, this is the organisation that has players go off for lunch with 2 runs left to go. It may not be their most egregious error, or their most public. In fact, it's relatively harmless.

That doesn't change the fact that it's ridiculous.