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With great pay comes great responsibility.
Nobody wants to pay tens of thousands of pounds a week for pedestrian kickabout skills. That's why we sit by our laptops and footballers light up the world every single week.
But no matter how many orange cones you went around or how many poles you slalomed past in the training ground, to err is human. And being made to look like plain vanilla as the entire world watches on is quite knackering.
It is not merely the act or getting caught in it that rounds up the embarrassment. In the business of the elite, everything from the backdrop to the hype play a part in buoying up humiliation to the hilt.
For all the 'career ending' banter that we engage in subsequently, they all dust themselves back up and will be raring to go in a heartbeat. And that's simply why we love them.
But let's not shy away from some solid schadenfreude because only quality can humiliate quality. For that reason, let's kick this off:
#5. Wijnaldum bullies Ramsey and Xhaka at Anfield
Georginio Wijnaldum often deploys a tormenting version of himself when Liverpool play at home. On an evening where Liverpool midfielders decided it was time to fire on all cylinders, Can and Henderson did the dirty work and the absolute filth was reserved for Gini.
First, it was Granit Xhaka who was found searching for a unicorn in the middle of the park. Wijnaldum latched onto the bouncing ball near the halfway line and Xhaka came hunting like a bull. Wijnaldum lifted the ball over his head and brought it down on the other side. The Swiss man wasn't done filling his quota of embarrassment and came in from behind only to be strong-armed by Gini who literally hurled the centre midfielder to the ground with the ball safe at his feet.
Gini then took Ramsey to the cleaners and won 2 back to back rounds with aplomb. Ramsey came charging into the Dutchman's path and was easily deceived as Gini cut inside. The Welshman wanted vindication but Wijnaldum adjusted his feet and went the other way as Ramsey fell to his knees and accepted defeat.
#4. Luis Suarez nutmegs David Luiz twice to score two goals
The list of players that the spine-tingling trinity of Messi-Suarez-Neymar has made to look like utter sh*te is way too long. And on one particular Champions League night in the year of 2015, Luis Suarez drew blood like the vampire he so openly aspires to be. And David Luiz was the unfortunate man on the receiving end.
Nothing makes you feel like a clown more than having the ball slip through between your legs. And if you're the central defender and you get nutmegged twice in one night, Lord have mercy on your mortal soul.
After Neymar had put the Catalans ahead, Suarez surged ahead down the right wing before realizing that it's time he went goalbound. And there was only one way for the ball to go- through the legs of a retreating David Luiz. 'Alright, here we go again' said Luis Suarez as he caressed it through his legs and bid good riddance to the Brazilian before holding off Maxwell to slot the ball home.
David Luiz must have been reassuring himself that a lot of people could have missed that. But there was absolutely no missing it the next time.
Suarez caught Luiz backpedalling in the centre of the pitch and went straight at him like a damn spear. He then slotted it through Luiz's legs once again and the centre-back was shamed insensitively for a second time on the same night.
Here's what you call a proper tail-between-your-legs moment.
#3. Robben makes Casillas crawl after him
Yes, it is just as bad as that sounded.
La Furia Roja made sure the dreams of the Oranje were left hanging in the air after Iniesta smashed in the lone goal of the match at the business end of extra time in the 2010 World Cup final. But the match could have so easily gone the other way. But the nearly infallible Arjen Robben couldn't find a way past Iker Casillas no matter what.
Run the clock forward by four years and what happened in Arena Fonte Nova, Salvador was the diametrically opposite. Netherlands won the ball back from Spain who were lingering around the final third. A long ball was optimistically driven forward and Arjen Robben bolted to chase it down.
And 'course, he got to it. In the course of adding insult to injury to Spain, Robben ran a semi-circle around Casillas. The Spain no.1 who was already clutching at grass couldn't even get back up on his feet and had to worm his way behind Robben on all fours.
He did that to no avail though as Robben went around Spain's defenders like they were trees and slotted it home. Spain eventually lost 5-1!
Casillas described his performance on the night as the worst of his life.
We agree.
#2. Di Maria makes Puyol do the split
The ability to dance around defenders is a gift in itself. But making defenders dance to your groove is of wizard fabric. That is the level at which Di Maria used to operate on during his stint with Real Madrid.
In the Copa Del Rey semi-final second leg, 2013, Angel Di Maria reduced Carles Puyol to a puppet who got his strings clipped.
Sami Khedira speculatively smashed the ball away from defence and Di Maria embarked on quite an entertaining and almost perfect run.
Di Maria sprinted down the left flank and Puyol was hightailing the Argentinian. The winger then decided to cut in and Puyol controlled his pace and poised himself to make a tackle. Before Puyol could transfer the weight to his toes again, Di Maria had already turned away and was running clear. The Spanish legend, flat-footed and having nowhere to go crumbled to his knees and performed an unsightly version of the split inside the area.
Now, that wasn't well received, first of all, for the absolute lack of grace on display and secondly due to the fact that Ronaldo scored a goal after Di Maria's shot rebounded off the post.
#1. Messi obliterates Jerome Boateng and shows Neuer who is boss
'When I meet Messi on the pitch, I will show him who's boss.'
These were the words of Manuel Neuer, arguably the greatest goalkeeper of his generation as Bayern took on Barcelona in the first leg of the 2015 UEFA Champions League semifinal match.
The German spoke too soon and became the subject of the great lil one's wrath. And Jerome Boateng was collateral damage.
In the 80th minute of the game, Lionel Messi used no hands but just the magic in his feet to knock the cuckoo out of the gigantic Jerome Boateng. Messi went on one of his signature runs on the left flank and with a drop of his shoulder teased Boateng into thinking that he is going to cut in and shoot. But Messi said not tonight and bid the German goodbye and carried on down his path before dinking the ball over Manuel Neuer to extend the Catalans' lead.
Jerome Boateng collapsed like Liston to Ali and fell right on top of the thorns of the meme world.
As for Neuer, I guess he now takes orders when Messi's around.
