Bundesliga Week 27 Preview: Bayern v Hannover
Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go. Again, and again, and again, and again. In this terribly unfortunate, pro-Dortmund world, Bayern is forced to face Hannover just 3 days after playing 120 minutes in the DFB-Pokal semifinal. Send your complaints to the DFB, though they’ll probably ignore you just as they ignore racism and homophobia *cough*.
Positives: This match is a home match, everybody is so damn happy, and Philipp Lahm has impregnated his wife. (Congrats Fips, let’s hope it’s a boy and captain of Bayern and the German national team of 2038.)
So let’s talk about Hannover. Despite them boring the pants off me (assuming I wear pants, which I don’t), they’ve been doing quite well since spending their days flirting with relegation just a few short years ago. The boys-in-that-ugly-shade-of-red have advanced to the quarter finals of the Europa League (and they will fall out of it at the hands of Radamel Falcao Garcia, but another time, another place), and they’re sitting in 7th in the league, 1 point behind Werder Bremen. There’s some kind of annoying stat that they’re undefeated in so many games in 2012 yada yada no one cares. Bayern is out for revenge following the 3-1 loss in October, and not even America the Beautiful, Steve Cherundolo, will stand in their way.
For beautiful for spacious defenses, for reddened waves of goals, for white-shirt losses, tragedies, across the sparkling pitch…….
Oh, if any of you Bayern fans wanna sabotage a certain player by the name of Lars Stindl, all you gotta do is tweet him here with pick-up lines. The more pick-up lines he receives, the more his form drops. We call this act of sabotage “stindling,” and anyone can participate. Use this line: Die Sterne beleuchten die Erde und du bist ein Stern und beleuchtest mein Herz! Viel Spaß!
There were no injuries following the win against Gladbach, luckily. The usual suspects are out. No news on Schweinsteiger as of Thursday evening, but I can tell you that this man has some serious splainin’ to do. Fine, he’s out injured again. All we saw were naked people last week, I could handle that. But now there was an earthquake in Mexico along the newly named Schweinsteiger Fault. Someone wrap this man in bubble wrap before there’s a tidal wave in Russia or a bee invasion in Guam.
Anyways, it’s not known at the moment who will be rested and who will play this Saturday. There’s an important match against Marseille next Wednesday, but then again every match in the league is of huge importance if there is any hope of catching Dortmund (who face Köln this Sunday).
Bayern’s line-up Wednesday:
Neuer; Lahm – Boateng – Badstuber – Alaba; Gustavo – Kroos; Robben – Müller (Petersen) – Ribery – Gomez (Olic).
Hannover’s line-up v. Köln (4-1)
Zieler; Cherundolo, Haggui, Eggimann, Schulz – Schmiedebach, Pinto – Stindl, Rausch; Schlaudraff, Abdellaoue. (Stindl, Schlaudraff, and Diouf with the goals).
The team is exhausted from previous weeks and Hannover is always tricky, but they just gotta keep their eyes on the prize. Or simply put a horse’s head in the H96 team bus, considering a handful of our starting 11 are turning tricks as gangsters now.
Match is at the normal time, in all the old familiar places. See you then.