Funniest Football quotes of all time - Part 3

Here it is, the third part of the funniest, wittiest and outrageously ridiculous quotes from the World of Football.

Holloway is one legendary quote maker!

“Football is like chess, only without the dice.”

- Lukas Podolski. Wow. I didn’t know that!

“Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.”

- Ian Holloway in action.

“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end the Germans win.”

- Gary Lineker who was clearly detested with Germany.

“The drug testers are here today; They shouldn’t be going to see the players, they should go to see the officials instead”

- Mick McCarthy, Genius!

Reporter: “Is your playing style Swedish or Yugoslavian? Zlatan: “It’s Zlatan-style.”

- And you are still wondering why he is overrated!

“Milan or Madrid – as long as it’s Italy!”

- I so dearly want to meet your Geography Teacher Mr. Andreas Moller

“For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn’t got two of what I’ve got. And I don’t mean balls.”

- Quote Machine Brian Clough on Sir Alex Ferguson.

He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – that would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock’s massive.”

- Ian Holloway on Cristiano Ronaldo

I’ve got more important things to think about. I’ve got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado

- Gordon Strachan on his rebellious player Delgado.

“On a looks front my wife’s got a lot more about her than H’ but on a managerial front he takes some beating.”

- Another Holloway classic on Harry Redknapp.

The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they’re not careful.

- How can I keep Kevin Keegan out of this list!

He has football in his blood – the disappointed scout complained. You may be right, Shanks said, but it hasn’t reached his legs yet.

- Hilarious one by Bill Shankley.

That is it for this edition. Check out the Part 1 and Part 2 of the funniest Football quotes in the meantime.