Gary Goals - Top class striker available to play for your team!

This is quite simply biggest news of the January transfer window yet. A striker who averages more goals per game than Cristiano Ronaldo & Lionel Messi is up for grabs and none of the top European clubs are making a move for him. Who is he?

His name is Goals. Gary Goals.

A rib tickling advert by a footballer called Gary Goals, who is looking for a team to play for, has gone viral on the internet. The striker in his flyer claims that he has had trials at Doncaster United, played against Wayne Rooney‘s cousin & scores all types of goals.

The advert spotted first in East London has become a rage on the internet after someone took a photo of it. The advert reads : “I do all types of goals including free kicks, bicycle kicks and penos.

“I scored in every match I have ever played in!! I do not lie! Five-a-side, 7-a-side and 11-a-side, all is good!!”

Gary also informs clubs to take note of the fact that he “will not play at the back or go in goals or do rolling sub.”

The voicemail for the mobile phone number on the advert informs the caller he is “based in Hackney, but willing to travel”.

The message says: “Greetings and salutations, you have reached the voice-mail of Gary Goals. I’m not able to take your call right now because I’m either playing a match, out with a lady or hitting the gym hard!”

The voice-mail – in a thick Irish accent – continues, “If you would like me to play in your game; leave your name, where said match will be taking place, the colour of the clothes and the quality of all the people playing the football game.”

“I am a top class striker with a proven track record scoring goals for teams all over Ireland and all over Europe – especially Ireland.”

Where will he end up? My guess is as good as yours!