This article was written in jest and should not be taken seriously.
Mr. Suarez,
I usually begin my letters with ‘dear’ or ‘respected’. However, since you are not someone close to me, I have refrained from using the former and since respect is something that one earns—and you haven’t earned mine—I can’t use the latter term either.
Friday is a weekend here in Bangladesh, so it is a day of relaxation. Not that it makes much of a difference to an unemployed man such as myself, but Friday has a different feel to it. On a Friday, the laziness is at the optimum level and the only thing I seek is a good cup of tea while listening to post-rock music.
Yesterday was one of those fine Fridays. Except, yesterday wasn’t fine at all. While I was sipping my tea and listening to the aesthetic art that post rock is, I read something that perturbed my mind: ‘Luis Suarez vows to not attend FIFA functions.’
Hmmm...interesting. What had FIFA done to induce frowns on the face of your highness, I wondered. So I clicked the link and read the news. And that was it. My relaxing Friday turned into a rant Friday quicker than how Neymar falls on the ground with a hint of breeze.
This is the reason why you say you will never attend another FIFA event:
"I suffered. I'm a human being that suffers and has feelings. My daughter was aware of what her dad was going through. We were going to get on the plane on the way to Rio to play against Colombia and my family told her not to get on the plane, that her dad had to leave.
"Imagine that. It was one of the toughest days of my life. I am a father. I have feelings. Then when I came to Barcelona and I had to train in a gym because I couldn't go to the training ground. It hurt a lot. [My kids] kept asking me why I wasn't playing.
“To be honest, it really hurt. Above all because I am not like that, I am a softy and my family know that. My kids know that their dad is a human being and he makes mistakes and they know anyone can make mistakes.”
Yes, Human beings do make mistakes. Of this, there is no doubt. We are a product of our mistakes. However, what I found inscrutable was your reasoning and logic. First time, it is a mistake. Second time, too, it can be considered as a mistake.
But three times? Nah, mate. Not a mistake anymore; it is a crime. And crime ought to be punished.
If a robber robs a bank three times and then blames the judge for sentencing him to prison because he is a father, then there is a problem. If the robber didn’t rob the bank in the first place, then all of this would never have happened.
Apropos, if you had not mistaken three human beings for French croissants or Italian pasta, none of this would have taken place.
Not once. Not twice. But thrice. Three times. You bit three footballers while playing for three different teams and now you have the audacity to blame FIFA for doing something they should have done a long time ago?
Also Read: The Luis Suarez Bites: Chronicling the Uruguayan's toothy history
If anything, FIFA was too lenient towards you. Had they punished you harshly earlier, you would have made an effort to improve and not bit anymore—a phase through which you are passing now.
But well, your daughter was upset, so screw FIFA, isn’t it? Rather than spewing venom at FIFA, it is you who should have been the ideal role model for not only your kids but for the rest of us as well.
P.S – It doesn’t really matter if you attend FIFA events or not because there is a very little chance that you would win something substantial on an individual front with both Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi playing. Good decision, saves you from buying expensive tuxedos.
Regards,
An unemployed writer suffering from bipolar disorder.
