David Moyes: The replacement candidates

Eric Cantona

Mr. Cool would do anything for United and therein lies at least one problem: there’s little chance Ed Woodward and the Glazer family would sanction free bird Cantona’s appointment as boss. Imagine what Eric might publicly say about the club’s state of affairs and the bean-counters in charge? And picture Luis Suarez back at Old Trafford in March, with Eric once literally kicking racism out of football! Eric was most recently sporting director at the New York Cosmos, but has said that he’d love to manage United. At least fans could expect some impressive attacking displays!

Likelihood: 1/10Rant score: 9/10Current job: UnemployedHistory: France (beach), New York Cosmos (Director of Soccer)

Sir Alex Ferguson

“I enjoy watching them play”, said United’s former manager of his former players. But how long can the Master sit tight and watch his successor ruin 27 years of hard work? Sir Alex is still very much active, and has travelled to almost all of United’s away games this season, in addition to holding a book tour, a lecture tour and giving countless interviews. Ferguson’s energy and enthusiasm will seemingly never diminish. Please come back, Sir, United might need you more now than we did in 1986!

Likelihood: 3/10Rant score: 10/10Current job: RetiredHistory: East Stirlingshire, St. Mirren, Aberdeen, Manchester United