The A-Z guide to Arsenal Football Club

A is for Always conceding set pieces – Arsenal conceded the highest amount of goals from set pieces according to Opta last season, and it appears to have no shortages for this season too.

B is for the Board -The Board is the most confusing and infuriating part of Arsenal Football Club. While they send ticket prices rocketing and sell star players, thus irking the fans while also supposedly increasing the club’s wealth, they also play a dormant role by not putting a stop to Wenger’s policy of not buying experienced heads. Is Wenger to blame for the poor start or is it the Board? Is the Board preventing Wenger from spending or are they encouraging him not to? Do the Board even care about Arsenal and its fans?

C is for Contract troubles – This is becoming a constant problem with Wenger – First Flamini, now Nasri…contracts of key players should be secured for the future otherwise we’ll risk losing them for free or having to sell them when they’re needed for a make shift price. Van Persie, Song and Walcott need to have their contracts renewed – it’s now or never.

D is for (Leaky) Defence – An ever present problem that has plagued Arsenal for long! We either have clumsy center backs (Squillaci, Cygan, Senderos, Silvestre) and good fullbacks (Clichy, Sagna), or we have good center backs (Koscielny, Vermaelen, Toure) who are injured and fullbacks (Gibbs, Jenkinson) who don’t perform enough. It has been long since Arsenal have recruited world class players in each position of defence who have a habit of NOT conceding easily or playing strikers onside.

E is for Excuses – Whenever we lose, it’s like Wenger’s programmed to come out with different reasons/excuses depending on the situation: “We lost because of an offside goal”,“We weren’t consistent and lacked focus”, “We didn’t show mental strength.” As for our favorite Wenger line, when asked about a tackle by an Arsenal player or an offside goal/dive by an Arsenal player, “I didn’t see it.”

F is for Formation – Wenger used the 4-2-3-1 formation especially and only for Cesc Fabregas so he would flourish in the free role. However, he is gone and no one seems to be doing well in that position and Van Persie is a literal lone forward, not getting any support whatsoever, so why not change to a new formation? 4-3-3 or 4-4-2 anyone?

G is for Goalkeepers – We just haven’t a world class goalkeeper since Lehmann left or dare I say, even to the point of time where Seaman left. However, Szczesny has blossomed and seems to be the right choice, however he is still developing and is very inexperienced.

H is for “How Typical” – The excessively used line to describe Arsenal whenever things go against us. Sadly, we’re used to it now.

I is for Idiots – Just how many of them do we sign? Highly reputed French international, Squillaci has become a clown and some 6th choice CB now. U19 Brazil captain, Denilson only passed sideways and has been loaned out back to his former club. Don’t even get me started on Almunia.

J is for Joke - We’ve become the butt of all jokes in the Premier League of recent years – from the trophy drought jokes to the youth jokes to the 4-4 draw jokes to the 8-2 loss jokes to the defensive jokes. We don’t deserve all this!

K is for Killing games off - This leads to the next letter in the alphabet but as we’ve learned in the past, a 4-0 lead isn’t enough and we must kill games off or suffer being pegged back and risking more humiliation.

L is for Leads – We just can’t keep or hold on to a lead! Remember 4-4 Newcastle?

M is for Mental strength - This seems to be Arsene’s favorite aspect of a team and yet we don’t seem to have any!

N is for November - The dreaded month for Arsenal fans – Injuries and Defeats, the main appetizers of the month. As Wenger puts it himself, “Traditionally November has not been a good month for us, but I explain that by the fact we had more injuries, it is the first period when they kick in. It depends on the fixtures too – you can have two or three difficult games in November. You have decisive games in the Champions League and the players go on international duty.” If we have hopes for anything, we must make sure Van Persie and Vermaelen come through this month, unscathed.

O is for Own goals – Apparently have become a huge problem for us this season…and preseason. The best own goal? This.

P is for Philosophy – The philosophy of playing attractive football AND winning trophies is a real eye catching one. We did both of that in 2004. We played attractive football from 2006-2011 but didn’t win any trophies, but now we aren’t even playing attractive football! Calls for a change in philosophy have been highly vocal, and Wenger has seemed to finally do that, bringing in experience in much needed areas with his summer signings.

Q is for Qatari – Why can’t any Qatari or any other Arab business group fund Arsenal? We have tradition, history, a world class manager + injection of 500 mil pounds = BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD.

R is for Refereeing decisions – Don’t all of us Gooners think that referees are just out to get us? The Diaby red card against Newcastle, the Van Persie red card against Barcelona, the Gervinho red card, the Liverpool penalty in the 100th minute, the disallowed goals, the offside goals conceded – most recently with Yakubu against Blackburn. I can go on and on and on. And Mourinho and Manchester United think the referees are out to get only them!

S is for Sagas – Why are we the only club who are involved in major year long sagas with clubs (*cough* Barcelona)? Thierry Henry, Cesc Fabregas, Samir Nasri, Alexander Hleb, Emmanuel Adebayor, Ashley Cole – just a few of the names who have been in recent transfer sagas over the years. This needs to get sorted out – I don’t see any of the oil rich/European elite clubs publicly tapping up and going after players like Gerrard, Rooney, Nani, Lampard, Drogba etc.

T is for Transfer policy – Give it up to Wenger for sticking to his transfer youth policy for the past 6 years but now, he’s finally realized it’s useless, having made 4 signings over the age of 26 at the end of the recent transfer window.

U is for Undeserving – We aren’t undeserving of success – we’re undeserving of all the pain, losses and mental breakdowns the team has suffered – from Eduardo’s injury to the last minute Carling Cup final disaster to the 3-1 defeat at the Nou Camp to the 8-2 defeat at Old Trafford. When will it all end?

V is for Vendetta – Oh, how the media have a vendetta against Arsenal – an age old battle which will end only when Arsenal win some silverware (no, not the Emirates Cup.)

W is for Wenger – The man who made Arsenal what it is today – the only reason we’re getting bashed by the media so hard and Liverpool aren’t, is because we’re expected to win; from the Invincibles of 2004 to the team struggling to beat League 2 side, Shrewsbury in 2011? Is Wenger the problem? No. Is the philosophy the problem? Yes. Is Wenger the man to help Arsenal back to the top? Yes.

X is for X-factor – We don’t have any players who are worthy of being the X-factor, who can create something out of nothing or create the spark the team is lacking. Eden Hazard anyone?

Y is for Youth – We’ve had some gems develop over the past year, but why can’t Wenger ever play them gradually, with a mix of experience? Also, when in need of experience, Wenger goes out and buys 1 million pound Carl Jenkinson from League 1 side, Charlton?! Such a stickler for young talent!

Z is for Zonal marking - Get rid of it. Our defenders are left in no man’s land if we continue to use zonal marking. Switch to man marking – seriously Arsene!