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Top 20 funny soccer quotes

Soccer Funniest quotes football
Arsene Wenger is known to make some quirky comments at press conferences
Ishan Chattoraj

We take a look at some funny soccer quotes.

20) “If you eat caviar every day it’s difficult to return to sausages.” – Arsene Wenger after the Arsenal fans booed the team following a 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough (November 1998).

19) “What Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange.” – Answering to criticism from John Carew that Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s moves are pointless (April 2002).

18) “Some people tell me that we professional players are soccer slaves. Well, if this is slavery, give me a life sentence.” – Bobby Charlton replied when soccer players were referred to as slaves.

17) “We lost because we didn’t win.” – Ronaldo on Brazil’s 3-0 defeat to France in the 1998 World Cup final.

Ronaldo Brazil 1998 World Cup
Ronaldo wasn’t in the best frame of mind after the defeat to France

16) “We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.” – Bobby Robson after playing Cameroon at the 1990 World Cup.

15) “The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does.” – Phil Woosnam, Welsh football player and manager.

14) “Well Kerry, you’re 19 and you’re a lot older than a lot of people younger than yourself.” – Mike Gray.

13) “I’m as happy as I can be, but I’ve been happier.” – Ugo Ehiogu on his happiness.

12) “We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us the match.” – Ruud Gullit following a defeat.

Ruud Gullit
If Ruud Gullit had 99% of the game, the opponents obviously gave 102%

11) “The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath.” – Former England Captain Terry Butcher.

10) “It’s an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.” – Gordon Strachan referring to Wayne Rooney.

9) “I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.” – Mark Viduka.

8) “There is no in between – you’re either good or bad. We were in between” – Gary Lineker.

7) “You don’t have to have been a horse to be a jockey.” – Arigo Sacchi on being a manager.

6) “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.” – Metro Radio, Football.

5) “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” – Bill Shankly, Liverpool manager on football.

4) “If you’re in the penalty area and don’t know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we’ll discuss the options later.” – Bob Paisley advising his players.

Bob Paisley
Safe to say that Bob Paisley had his priorities right

3) “You can’t say my team aren’t winners. They’ve proved that by finishing fourth, third and second in the last three years.” – Gerard Houllier on Liverpool.

2) “Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win.” – Gary Lineker after losing the 1990 World Cup semi-final to Germany on penalties.

1) “That’s great, tell him he’s Pele and get him back on.” – John Lambie, Patrick Thistle manager, when told that his striker did not know who he was after suffering a concussion.


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Edited by Staff Editor

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