Top jokes on Lord Emile Heskey

With just seven goals in over 60 appearances for England, Emile Heskey is one of the most hated yet comically trolled footballers in the planet. Ever wondering how many great trolls about Lord Heskey exist on the Internet?

Here is a small collection!

Emile Heskey reacts

- How do you confuse Emile Heskey? Give him a football.

- Bin laden is dead! Killed by a stray shot from Emile Heskey.

- A prisoner on Death Row in Utah has been allowed to choose his firing squad. He has chosen Heskey.

- It’ll be nice for Emile when he weds Chantelle Tagoe. It’ll make a change to hear “Mrs. Heskey” instead of “Heskey misses”.

- Emile plans to open a pub when he retires – because he’s great at putting shots over the bar.

- Today in England training, Heskey’s 1,000 shots all hit the net. Shame they were playing tennis.

- Following Ryan Giggs‘ new deal with Manchester United, Emile Heskey thinks it’s about time he had talks about getting a new contract. His agent is confident he can get him 300 minutes and unlimited texts for Rs 200 a month.

- A Nigerian player arrived at Aston Villa. During training the manager kept saying: “Foot, ball, goal – foot, ball, goal,” while pointing at his foot, the ball then the goal. The Nigerian said: “Don’t speak so slowly, I speak perfect English.” Then the manager told him, “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to Emile.”

- Robert Green faced over 100 shots in training today without conceding a goal. Tomorrow, he and Heskey will train with the rest of the squad.

- Q – What do you get if you cross a ball and Emile Heskey?A – A goal kick.

- Emile Heskey has hit out at his critics….and missed.

Finally, before signing off, here are two superb videos which portray the sheer genius that Heskey is!

This is a absolutely hilarious promo by FIFA 12

P.S : Every thing mentioned above is for fun. No intention to degrade Heskey’s abilities (No Pun Intended). All Hail Lord Heskey!