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Ever since FIFA allotted the 2022 Football World Cup to Qatar, the decision and subsequent statements from FIFA have been marred by controversies. First was Sepp Blatter’s statement that the WC may be held in winter, that is December- January, to escape the scorching heat of the desert. And then was his very controversial statement that homosexual people should restrain from attending this World Cup. Then the chairman of the organizing committee said that there are plans that matches will be played in thirds, that is, 3 periods of 30 minutes each, so that the players will get a rest from the heat. Although FIFA has said that there are no such plans, the damage has been done and international sports lovers are now being very skeptical about the decision to allot the WC to Qatar.
WHAT IF INDIA HOSTED A WORLD CUP?
Taking similar lines, if India were to host a World Cup, this is what I believe will happen.
1. The WC will be held in December- January anyway, not to escape from the heat but because the stadiums and pitches could not be finished in time for the WC in June.
2. Instead of the traditional green football fields, the grounds will be multi colored with every inch being painted with the advertisement of some company.
3. There will be 10 minute strategic timeouts during each half which the teams must compulsorily take.
4. Football “fans” from India will finally realize that the Football World Cup is actually played by 32 teams and not just Brazil and Argentina.
5. In order to keep the players cool, all the teams will be supplied with huge amounts of Emami cool talc, Duniya ka sabse chota AC.
6. The head of the organizing committee will overtake the Padmanabha Swami Temple in wealth once the World Cup is over.
7. The head quarters of the organizing committee will be in Tihar jail.
8. The winner of the World Cup will be decided by an IPL style auction. The BCCI will not be allowed to bid.
9. Irrespective of the winner, the Golden Boot, Golden Ball and Lev Yashin awards will all go to Sachin Tendulkar.
10.The Fair play will; however will go to Manmohan Singh for his peaceful and silent handling of the problems during the tournament.
11. Enormous amounts of Rajni jokes about Rajni, Messi and a football will be made.
12. The final will have to be shifted from Mumbai because Shiv Sena will have a problem because the footballs are made in Pakistan.
13. Rahul Gandhi will watch the Semi Finals from a village in UP and then travel by sleeper class to watch the final so that he can understand the plight of the Indian youth who have to travel by sleeper class to see the final.
14. The finals will be attended by famous Indian footballers like Baichung Bhutia, IM Vijayan and that boy who played football in the US, as these are the only football players the organizing committee knows. The rest of the guests from the sports field will be cricketers and PT Usha.
15. Rajdeep Sardesai’s final tweet of the day will be, “The World Cup is over, the goals have been scored, but has India scored their goals? Goodnight.”
