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Have you recognized a compulsive liar in your life? How are they affecting you? Many individuals who struggle with compulsive or pathological lying tell stories rather than refer to them as lies. They often fabricate elaborate tales, which are always just on the edge of the realm of possibility, despite the fact that they are incredibly marvelous and astounding.
These stories are not the result of delusion disorder. Delusions are fiercely held false beliefs, and regardless of the amount of evidence to the contrary, those affected by the condition will not abandon these beliefs/delusions.
The stories told by pathological liars are not a result of this, as they believe them to be true. While compulsive lying disorder is not an official diagnosis, an individual exhibiting traits of the same can impact your emotional health.
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How to Cope with the Endless Lies of a Compulsive Liar?
Dealing with a compulsive liar can be difficult and emotionally exhausting. Here are some techniques to how to deal with a pathological liar:
1) Acceptance
Recognize that there is nothing you can do to alter the person's behavior. Because compulsive lying is a deeply ingrained habit, it is unlikely that you will be able to convince or coerce the individual to cease lying.
2) Establish boundaries
Boundaries are invisible walls that help protect your sense of worth and value. Define your boundaries and communicate your expectations. Let the individual know that you value honesty in your relationship and that lying is unacceptable.
Be resolute regarding the consequences of prolonged lying, such as limiting contact or ending the relationship. While setting boundaries is not easy, it can help enhance your relationship.
3) Think of your value
Sometimes, we take things too personally and blame ourselves for someone else's behavior. Remember that the person's dishonesty is not indicative of your own worth or value. This is not a personal offense, as compulsive liars frequently lie out of habit or for their own benefit.
4) Manage your expectations
Manage your expectations of the individual's honesty. Recognize that it is possible that they will not change and that you cannot rely on their words. Instead, focus on their actions and independently verify information whenever possible. Remember, by just asking them to stop lying, they may not be able to do so immediately.
5) Seek support
Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for assistance and support. Talking to someone who understands your situation can provide emotional support and assist you in navigating the difficulties of dealing with a compulsive liar.
If the person's deceit is causing you significant distress or negatively impacting your mental health, a therapist or counselor can offer advice on how to manage with the situation and help you develop healthy coping strategies.
6) Maintain self-care
Take emotional and physical care of yourself. Being with a liar can be taxing. Therefore, you should prioritize activities that help you relax, reduce tension, and maintain your health. This can be as simple as taking a break as and when you need it.
What If I Am the Compulsive Liar in a Relationship?
The realization that you are the compulsive liar in a relationship is a crucial step towards self-awareness and personal development. Recognize that you have a problem with habitual lying and try not be very harsh with yourself. Learn about the detrimental effects it has on your relationships, trust, and well-being.
A therapist can help you investigate the causes of your compulsive lying. It may be the result of low self-esteem, a fear of being judged, or a desire for attention. Understanding the underlying causes will allow you to effectively address them.
It requires time and work to alter deeply ingrained habits. Be patient with yourself and recognize that setbacks are inevitable. Maintain a commitment to personal development and seek support from dependable companions, family members, or support groups.
Remember that you have the right to prioritize your well-being and defend yourself from a compulsive liar. You can consider talking to a therapist about how to spot a pathological liar. If the lying becomes too detrimental to your life or well-being, you may need to consider distancing yourself or ending the relationship.
These are tough decisions to make, but you don't have to take them alone. Speak to a mental health professional for helping you deal with the tactics of a compulsive liar.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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