Do you have an inner critic? How do you tame it?

We all have an inner critic in our mind. Imagine the brain as a platform where various emotions and thoughts play their part.

While emotions are constantly at work and have various controllers, there's someone else in the room too. The inner critic is an internal voice we develop over time. While the exact origins of the voice is unclear, it's often traced back to childhood.

While we all hear it every day, we often forget the influence of this voice in our everyday life. The voice often turns up at important events and experiences in our life and is not very motivating. It's important to be careful of the impact of this voice on emotional health.

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What is the inner critic?

Noticing how we talk to ourselves is an important component of our emotional health. (Image via Pexels/Keira Burton)

This voice often develops as a consequence of growing up in a threatening environment.

It's possible that your primary caregivers were extremely critical of you while you were growing up. While all of us have this voice, for some, the effect is more pervasive.

Unfortunately, it often comes up as self-doubt and criticism. It undermines your confidence and self-worth. Naturally, the inner critic voice is associated with low self-esteem.

It's also a product of societal expectations and a perceived reflection of your failures or shortcomings. It's important to note that this critical voice is similar to a policeman inside the head.

It often dictates how we ‘should’ do things and calls us out when we break internal codes of conduct. As you can imagine, individuals with a strict inner voice are likely to feel low and experience disappointment with themselves.

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Is there a way to manage the inner critic?

Think of the ways you can manage your inner critic. (Image via Pexels/Budgeron Bach)

Management begins with the recognition of the impact of this critical voice. It's essential to note that not all thoughts are facts and that an inner critic has developed over time.

Naturally, it won’t change overnight, but there are ways to manage this voice:

#1 Challenging negative thoughts

As the inner critic becomes stronger, the negative thoughts start feeling ‘true’. Just because something is more frequent does not mean that it's true. It's important to challenge persistent negative thoughts. A common tool is to find objective evidence for your thought patterns.

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#2 Focus on self-compassion

Self-compassion is one of the primary ways to move towards self-love. Only if you exercise positivity towards yourself will you begin to accept yourself. Try to separate your inner dialogue from that of your parents.

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#3 Seek support

Changing your internal patterns is not easy and definitely not short-term. Therapy is a long-term endeavor and is not for short-term solutions. Why? Your thought patterns and beliefs have solidified over time, so it takes time to reprogram them.

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Many researchers and psychologists have spent time understanding the impact of thoughts on well-being. A lot of us skip taking care of our mental health, as it doesn’t have a physical form. That also leads us to feel that we don’t have to pay attention to our inner thought patterns.

We now recognize through brain studies that thoughts influence the brain structure and physical body over time. When you begin to challenge your inner critic, you realize that you are worth more than what it tells you.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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