Self-Love: how can you learn to love yourself?

Self love is an essential component for your growth and nourishment. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)
Self love is an essential component for your growth and nourishment. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

Self-love is an overwhelming feeling of confidence, trust, and satisfaction in one's abilities. It involves establishing boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and eliminating toxic relationships. Internalized beliefs that one is not good enough or feelings of remorse about putting one's own needs first can make it difficult to achieve self-love.

Self-love is a voyage comprised of ups and downs. It can be practiced and developed independently or with the assistance of a mental health professional.

What words do you use for self love? How does your self-talk sound like? (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)
What words do you use for self love? How does your self-talk sound like? (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

What Does Self-Love Mean? Is learning to love yourself easy?

What does it mean to love yourself and be kind to yourself? (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)
What does it mean to love yourself and be kind to yourself? (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

Self-love entails more than simply putting on expensive clothing and makeup and declaring that you adore yourself.

It is an umbrella term for the various physical and non-physical acts of self-care that we engage in. It is not an act of selfishness; rather, it is an act of compassion toward others, considering that when you truly love yourself, others do not have to deal with your lingering problems.

Self-love is difficult to attain because it requires giving up things and people to which we are addicted. As a result, we conditionally love ourselves in exchange for the love we receive from other people. Self-love can be considered to be more stable.


Five different ways to love yourself for a better you

There are multiple steps you can take to enhance your love towards yourself. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)
There are multiple steps you can take to enhance your love towards yourself. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

There are numerous approaches to developing self-love, and they will differ for each individual. Here's how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine:

1) Accept Self-Compassion

Your capacity to acknowledge your errors and accept your flaws with compassion and without judgment is a sign of self-compassion.

In literature, the terms self-compassion and self-love are frequently used interchangeably. According to research, having more self-compassion increases perseverance in the face of hardship, allowing people to recover from trauma or love separation more rapidly. It also aids us in dealing with defeat or humiliation.


2) Start Journaling

Writing or journaling can strengthen your mental health by allowing you to become more aware of your sentiments, what you're grateful for, the characteristics of yourself you like, and the measures you're taking to achieve your goals.


3) Pay attention to affirmations

Say that you love yourself, be kinder to your younger self. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)
Say that you love yourself, be kinder to your younger self. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

You can say affirmations when your feelings of self-love are wavering or need a boost. Positive affirmations can include "I am competent" or "I am cherished." Affirmation applications and notebooks are available to help you get started.


4) Eliminate Toxic Relationships

Release yourself from toxic and exhausting relationships. The idea is to fortify yourself with positive encounters with individuals who appreciate you, encourage you, and encourage you to become a better version of who you are and who you want to be.


5) Change a Negative Attitude

Neglecting difficulties does not constitute positive thinking. It entails choosing a good attitude as a way of life that involves thankfulness and various possibilities. Perhaps it's time to seek help to deal with your anger and let go of bitterness and grudges.

Carrying on rage and enmity towards others can be detrimental to our mental and emotional well-being, and addressing the fundamental reason can be an act of self-love and care.


Is self-love narcissistic?

Taking care of yourself is not the same as having a narcissistic personality. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)
Taking care of yourself is not the same as having a narcissistic personality. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

Another major impediment to self-love is the notion that it is narcissistic or selfish. We might easily see self-love morphing into narcissism if pursued to its logical conclusion; yet, these are two quite distinct concepts.

When therapists urge self-love, they are not referring to elevating yourself above everyone else. Narcissists feel they are superior to others and are unwilling to acknowledge or accept accountability for their shortcomings and failures. They also seek further external affirmation and acknowledgement. Narcissists lack compassion for others as well.

Self-love, on the other hand, isn't about bragging about how wonderful you are. It is about loving oneself without needing to make negative social comparisons, taking satisfaction in your achievements, providing yourself with the affirmation you require, and accepting that it is alright to feel unsure and doubt yourself from time to time.


Self-love takes patience, time, and effort to develop, but it is merited and accessible to anyone. It allows you to enjoy the good moments in life while also believing in your capacity to handle difficult circumstances.

Attending to your needs, challenging negative beliefs, and removing individuals from your circle of friends who drag you down are all signs of self-love.

You spend the entirety of every moment of your existence with only one person—you. Fostering and taking steps towards self-love might be an exhausting and lengthy endeavor, but it will also provide room for more enjoyment and freedom.


Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

Edited by Ankush Das