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Relationships are challenging. However, there;s a distinction to be made between occasional disagreements in a relationship and a toxic one.
Relationships are supposed to help you grow, but when they become poisonous, you end up feeling drained, defeated, and frequently lost. In a toxic relationship, you can frequently feel exhausted or sad after spending time with your partner, which may signify that something has to change.
Despite the fact that you still adore your partner, the relationship might not feel at all joyful. You can become emotionally spent and suffer mental health effects from a toxic partner.
What if, instead, you are the toxic person in your relationship? We must analyze our own habits and patterns of behavior. Sometimes we are toxic to others, but we simply won't accept it. Accepting that is not shameful, as it's the first step towards transformation to be conscious of the situation.
How to Know You're In a Toxic Relationship?
Signs of a toxic relationship can range from being barely noticeable to being obvious, depending on the nature of the relationship.
It may not always be simple to see warning signs when you're in a toxic relationship. However, some of the following six symptoms may be present in you, your spouse, or the relationship itself:
1) Lack of Support
Healthy relationships are built on a shared desire to see others thrive in all areas of life. However, as things deteriorate, every accomplishment turns into a contest. In other words, it doesn't feel good to be with the partner anymore.
They don't make you feel encouraged or supported, and you can't rely on them to stand up for you. Instead, you can feel as though they only care about what they want and don't care about your wants or interests.
2) Self-centredness
It's all about you in this relationship. Your relationship is unhealthy if you think that just your needs matter, and you don't give adequate consideration to what your spouse is going through.
How can a relationship endure if your partner is unable to get any support from you, and you are not their confidant? You must try to ensure that your partner feels emotionally supported as well.
3) Disrespect
One warning sign is that the other person is routinely late, carelessly forgetting events and displays other behaviors that demonstrate contempt for you and your time.
Remember that some people may struggle to make and adhere to commitments on time, so starting a discussion about this behavior may be helpful. If that's not deliberate, after you explain why it upsets you, things might become better.
4) Financial Disagreements
A degree of agreement about how you spend or save your money is typically required when you share your finances with a spouse.
However, if one partner decides to spend money on things the other partner disapproves of, the relationship is not inherently toxic. However, it can be toxic if you and your partner have made financial agreements, and one party repeatedly disregards those agreements.
That could be by making expensive purchases or making excessive cash withdrawals.
5) Excessive Expectations
It's a major warning sign of a toxic relationship, if either partner is making an effort to mold the other (or yourself) into a situation that's illogical or is obsessed with changing important aspects of the other.
You should be with people because of who they are rather than in spite of who they are, as that's who they are and not who you want them to be. According to research, although humans may (and should) adapt in certain circumstances, they frequently revert to their original shapes like rubber bands.
6) Conditional Communication
Any healthy relationship, romantic or not, must prioritize communication.
You're not in a two-way relationship if you tell your partner that they have done something that has harmed you, and they say, "That's just who I am," or become defensive, or make you feel crazy and doubt your own experience. When you sincerely care about someone, you pay attention to their feelings, respect their limits, and listen to them.
When faced with a problem, we must pay close attention to how our partner responds. Do they seek change, listen, and apologize? Or do they become enraged, make it about you, and exacerbate matters?
Takeaway
Nobody is flawless, and relationships are no different. While imperfections are normal, toxic relationships are not.
Although toxicity can emotionally deplete you and leave you with negative ideas, imperfections can motivate you to adapt and grow. While it's often simpler to point the finger at someone else for being toxic, you must also reflect on your behavior. Toxic relationships can challenge us, but by identifying the aforementioned signs, we can move towards better relationships.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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