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At one point or another, we have been emotionally reactive. It means that we have let emotions control us and command us in the moment.
You may have noticed that some of us are more reactive than others. It seems that they are walking time-bomb, and you don't really know when they will explode.
Our emotions are controlled by the amgydala, which is the mind's emotional centre. If we are not able to regulate our emotions, the amygdala goes into hyperdrive, causing us to stay in fight and flight mode. While in the moment or temporarily this stress response is helpful; in the long run, though, it can cause emotional damage.
When we learn to self-regulate, we become more aware of our emotions. We also have greater control over these emotions. Slowly and steadily, you start moving from emotional reactivity to emotional responsiveness.
How can I be less emotionally reactive and find peace?
There's no easy way to answer it or a single way to be emotionally reactive. However, there are certain general practices that can soothe your reactivity.
A lot of clients in therapy are advised to practice these methods. However, either due to low motivation or difficulty in starting these practices, they do not produce consistent results. Before you understand the tools, it is important to recognize the consistency underlying all of them.
Let's understand it with an example. You are driving a vehicle when you suddenly see a fast car driving past you. You have two choices: you can be emotionally reactive or you can respond to the situation.
To respond, you can start by noticing the emotions that come up for you. Is it anger, frustration or humiliation? Observe the feeling, and try to name it.
Most emotions have an associated physiological reaction. Your mental health and physical health are closely connected. You might notice your teeth clenching and your heartbeat rising. You may also experience symptoms of anxiety.
After observing, take a breath, and it will do most of the work for you. When you try to exhale twice as long as your inhalation, you activate your parasympathetic system and stimulate your vagus nerve.
Remember, you have much more control over your emotions than you can imagine. When you are emotionally reactive, it's important to regulate using your breath cycles.
How does emotional reactivity affect mental health?
When your fight and flight response becomes overactive, you experience chronic effects in your nervous system.
In short, the brain becomes agitated and scared due to everything. If you don't release this energy, it dampens your system. You may feel low in energy and unmotivated to engage with others.
Most importantly, emotional reactivity translates into conflicts in relationships. Everything in your life starts triggering you and leads to further distress.
Emotional responding, meanwhile, can save your mental health.
If you are experiencing emotional reactivity, you can start with small steps to reduce it.
It might be difficult to completely remove it, as it's part of our survival toolkit. However, you can always learn to regulate it. When you start regulating yourself, you begin to trust yourself and regain confidence.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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