Still thinking about your ex? Here is a guide on how to stop thinking about someone

Modified Dec 22, 2023 14:40 GMT

Here is what you can do when you want to know how to stop thinking about someone. (Image via Pexels/ Anastasia Shuraeva) — Here is what you can do when you want to know how to stop thinking about someone. (Image via Pexels/Anastasia Shuraeva)

If you are experiencing difficulty deciding how to stop thinking about someone, you are not the only one.

We have all experienced overthinking at some point in time. Overthinking is really common; we all do it. However, if you find that you are stuck in a cycle of negative overthinking, it can lead to you feeling more anxious and stressed.

It's also not uncommon to think about your past relationships, especially your romantic ones. We invest time, energy and effort into these relationships.

Naturally, when we don't see the returns on our investment, it makes us anxious. As a consequence, we can't stop ourselves from thinking about the possibilities or worrying about the past.

There's no single answer to how to stop thinking about someone, as the entire process of letting go can be tough.

How to stop thinking about someone?

Do you find yourself overthinking or constantly worrying about someone?

Perhaps you find it difficult to get to sleep at night because you’re going over what they are doing. Or are you waking up in the middle of the night, feeling like your mind is racing? Maybe you are constantly negative about your relationship with them.

You can feel like you can’t work out how to get yourself out of that negative cycle. Moreover, that can also impact your sleep, along with both your mental and physical wellbeing.

There are multiple ways to stop thinking about someone. Here are three key steps that you can take today to reduce overthinking:

#1 Address your emotions

While sometimes suppressing your thoughts can be helpful, at other times you need to figure out what's happening underneath. Why do these thoughts not leave you?

Have you noticed a pattern or potential triggers? What's it about this person that stops you from letting go? Your emotional health contributes to your cognitive health.

#2 Identify your priorities

How to stop thinking about someone? Set your priorities. Do they appear anywhere in the list? (Image via Pexels/Download a pic donate a buck)

A key way to how to stop thinking about someone is to get your priorities straight. Yes, it can be a harsh truth for many of us.

A lot of mental and emotional energy is wasted thinking about relationships that don't add meaning to our lives. For instance, we may be stuck on:

What's the other person going to post on social media? Are they happier than me? We end up in a negative thought loop and find it difficult to step out of it.

#3 Reflect on attachment and bonding

A lot of times, our thought patterns are reflective of how we form attachments. When we consider the anxious attachment style, a lot of thoughts are dedicated to the other person and not about themselves.

They may actively engage in people-pleasing activities to ensure that the other person doesn't leave them. In short, they are constantly doing mental work for the other person.

By recognizing your attachment style and working around it, you gain emotional freedom.

Some of us can on our own work out how to stop thinking about someone. However, others may need additional support.

That's especially true when we can't stop thinking about someone who is special to us. The 'how' in how to stop thinking about someone depends entirely on your choice.

Would you want to completely process the emotions or just push their memories away in a journal. It all depends on your choice.

Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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