Imagine waiting your whole life for something to come to fruition, and in that moment just before you take the final step you realise this is everything you've ever wanted. That one split second defines your entire existence, and from that day on you will forever hold yourself in a completely new light. You're a new person, and you have been re-born once again.
Now forget all that and imagine how CM Punk felt when he got sparked out inside two minutes at UFC 203. Literally, there aren't many ways in which things could have been more embarrassing for the Straight Edge Superstar and that's just a fact. It must've felt as if someone hit him round the face with a wet fish on an endless cycle for about a month.
Look, these things happen. The hero doesn't always get the girl and the good guy doesn't always come out on top despite how badly you want it to take place. Life is unfair and cruel, but we're here to try and add some light into that dark hole of despair. After all if we can't join good old Phil Brooks in laughing at the situation, then we're just animals really.
With that being said, let's take a look at five pro-wrestling moves that CM Punk could have used in order to win his UFC fight against Mickey Gall. No seriously, that's what we're doing.
Go To Sleep (GTS)
Because honestly, if he doesn't get to use his old finishing move then what kind of world do we live in? CM Punk is a bloody good wrestler and you shouldn't let anyone tell you any differently, because it's true. Unfortunately in MMA that doesn't matter if someone is trying to knock your head off, so you'll have to try and find a different tactic.
That's why Punk needs to go old school. He should've just picked Mickey up and pushed him a tad higher into the air, before thrusting his knee directly into his face. Whether or not it would've been enough to knock him out isn't even a question - of course it would have been. The man has knees of absolute steel and if you don't believe us, go watch pretty much every match during his WWE run. Wait what do you mean it's fake?
Onto another move of Punk's that could've come in handy.
Anaconda Vice
In terms of it's actual effectiveness, the Anaconda Vice isn't all too spectacular. It's great that Punk had a submission and all, but it really just looked like he was hugging their heads. With that being said in the UFC, Punk would be able to crank the pressure up on the inverted head lock in order to really put his opponent in a sticky situation.
It may actually work too as Gall probably wouldn't have expected him to pull it out of the bag. You'd imagine that Punk would hold onto the move for dear life, and given how many people told him he'd fail the likelihood is that he won't leg go until Mickey is tapping like his life depends on it. Apologies Mr Gall, but you're just no match for the Best in the World - you got lucky, obviously.
Now we switch to a couple moves that may cause a touch of plagiarism.
Phenomenal Forearm
Because sometimes your best bet is just smashing a guy in the face over and over until it works. This wouldn't be exactly like AJ's forearm because Punk wouldn't be coming off the top rope, but sometimes you just need to go for broke and give it everything you've got. In this instance, and it may seem ridiculous, that could be Punk's best chance at success.
After all, everyone has a plan until they get hit in the face and we haven't really seen Gall take too much punishment throughout the early stages of his UFC career. Somebody needs to shut this guy up, and it would've been great to see Punk literally just go mad and start throwing forearms left right and center. Forearm city, baby.Onto something with a different kind of force.
DDT
Look, we have absolutely no idea how Punk would've pulled this off. Maybe he slips Gall a pill before the fight, maybe a cheeky poke to the eye - no clue. What we do know however is that if Punk grabs Gall's head and falls back to the ground with all of his weight, then good things are going to happen for the former WWE Champion. Perhaps he could turn it into some form of choke, but whatever the case may be it would be fascinating to see.
It probably wouldn't be the smoothest looking DDT in the world because, you know, Mickey wouldn't want to take it, but if Punk could have pulled it off then it's a sign that pretty much anything could've worked if he tried hard enough. Perhaps professional wrestling isn't as bad as you made it out to be on the Colt Cabana podcast, Mr Punk.
For our final entry we take a page from the book of one of Punk's greatest rivals.
STF Submission
The definition of elite ground game is being able to put your opponent in the STF submission. That isn't just an opinion - it's an actual fact. First of all one of your legs is just completely out of the picture, and second of all the crossface-like maneuver could work wonders if applied correctly. Obviously Gall would have to be pretty silly to get himself into a position like this, but such is life and such is this weird thing we call MMA.
Fans would probably assume that the whole thing was a straight up fix is this ever happened, but let's face it - if the two had a rematch Punk would fare alot better. Whether he took our brilliant advice seriously and used these moves or not, his first showing in the octagon was clearly not a great representation of the skills he has in his locker. Let's start the hashtag ourselves - #GivePunkAChance.
Do you love to play crosswords, Wordle or other exciting games? We'd like to connect with you. Fill the form here!
