Content warning: This article about Kwon Mina includes references to self-harm and suicide and includes descriptions of bullying that may disturb readers.
AOA’s former member Kwon Mina shocked fans last week after uploading a graphic image depicting self-harm on Instagram. The post has since been taken down but sparked concern among fans for the star.
The South Korean actress and singer recently posted an Instagram photo to explain why she did it and detailed her experiences of allegedly being bullied by AOA’s former leader, Shin Ji Min, known mononymously as Jimin.
Kwon’s deleted photo was accompanied by a caption that read:
“Why, this is dirty? Does this disgust you? Every word you say makes me like this. Oh, suicide show? You guys say I’m doing this to get sympathy. Then why don’t you give it? Go to a psychologist? I’ve seen psychiatrists for years. Do you know why I went crazy? Have you all been in my position? You don’t know anything about me, but you keep stepping on and tearing me up every day. I tried my best and lived like a fool.”
Kwon has now taken to Instagram to detail her experiences within AOA to explain why she posted a photo depicting self-harm.
What Kwon Mina said about her experience of being bullied
In her most recent Instagram post, Kwon posted a plain black photo, writing in detail about what she went through.
Kwon started the post by writing:
“I know it’s a lot… You say it’s enough. You’re sick and tired of this. You’re starting to think Shin Jimin is the victim now. I know very well that the more I do this, the more people will criticize me and look at me negatively. But I’m not crazy. I used to be a bright person who loves to laugh a lot. In fact, my evaluations only diagnose me as severely depressed. It doesn’t say I’m bipolar or schizophrenic. I have social anxiety, social phobia, panic disorder, panic seizures, and depression.”
Mina added that she had to be the breadwinner of her family since she was young, having to quit school to focus on making money. She also had to do part-time jobs to provide for her family.
Kwon then said she was bullied by Jimin, distressed from when she was 17 till she turned 27 by the former AOA leader’s words and actions:
“As I grew into adulthood, through my early to mid-20s0s, I believed that if I tried my best and worked harder than everyone else — if I give her no reason to hate me — then unnie will learn to like me too. Looking back now, I don’t understand why I decided to endure it all, pushing myself to accept and even getting myself on medication. I was a fool.”
Kwon also revealed that she tried to take her own life twice by taking sleeping pills and regrets not collecting “evidence” like medical records for psychiatric visits.
She noted that while her fellow AOA members may remember what she went through, no one spoke up for her and that they never would, except for one unnamed member, who was bullied like her.
The 27-year-old then said that she never received a sincere apology from Jimin, writing:
“I’ve never received a sincere apology. [Shin Jimin] may have said the words, ‘I’m sorry.’ But she also said she doesn’t remember anything. She forced the apology out of her mouth and left my house, looking completely agitated. I don’t even know why she came if she was going to act like that. As soon as she got to my house, she became all worked up and even started looking for a knife. And I had no idea the male team leader and other managers would come too. I was in my night slip when I sat down to talk to them.”
Why Kwon Mina posted a photo depicting self-harm
The Jaesong-dong-born star revealed why she posted a photo depicting self-harm. She said that while Jimin has left the entertainment industry following the bullying allegations, Kwon still has nightmares about her and wanting to hurt herself.
“Why did I upload th picture of my bloody wrist? I wanted her friends to see. Maybe they’ll let her know. I’ve been trying to get in touch with her, but she won’t answer me. I don’t know if she changed her number or what.”
Kwon also wrote that she continues to self-harm while her family suffers with her. She concluded the post by noting:
“I do it because I think all this is so unfair, yet there is no way for me to resolve it. It has been so long since I stopped having motivation for anything. I cry over nothing and everything. To live like this, to see myself live on like this, sometimes I feel like it might be better that I stop living. To be honest, I’m not so scared anymore.”