There are bad tackles, there are poorly timed tackles and then there are god awful, cannot-look-at-it-again-jesus-christ-what-was-that tackles. Most of the tackles featuring on this list fall into the last category.For your ease, we have analysed the tackles and provided their brutality level and style.Note that the tackles listed below have not been selected based on the extent of the injury caused, but based on the sheer stupidity, recklessness and levels of brutality. WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised.
#1 Danny Guthrie vs Hull City
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 6Style – Street fight kick
Pop quiz – You are losing a match in front of your fans. The opposition has the ball and they are wasting time. What do you do?
1 – Try to win the ball back fairly.
2 – Lash out and kick the player really hard right in front of the referee and get sent off.
If you chose “2”, congratulations. You display the same level of enthusiasm as Danny Guthrie.
#2 Nigel de Jong\'s kung-fu kick
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 7Style – Flying kick, kung fu
Perhaps the most iconic moment of the 2010 World Cup, even more than Spain winning the damn thing, was Nigel De Jong’s flying kick on Alonso.
Bear in mind that getting kicked really hard in the chest is never an okay thing. The fact that De Jong only got a yellow card for this horror show tells us all we need to know about football and its detachment from real life.
#3 Michael Brown vs Portsmouth
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 8Style – Jumping into the pool
Sit down, kids. Class is in session.
Let Professor Michael Brown show you the right way to win the ball and destroy your opponent’s chancing of ever walking again with his fantastic two-footed lunge.
Seriously, the vicitim is lucky to walk away without serious damage. A full blooded lunge on to your legs is something no footballer ever prepares for.
#4 Benjamin Massing vs Claudio Caniggia
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 8Style – Kamikaze, last man standing
For this one, we need to go back 24 years in time to the 1990 World Cup. Cameroon vs Argentina is the match and Cameroon’s Benjamin Massing is the guilty party.
Upon seeing Claudio Caniggia running through his teammates one after the other, Massing decides to end the counter-attack (and the player’s life, it seems) with a perfectly timed kamikaze attack. No dobut the Japanese would concur with Massing’s foolproof strategy.
Oh, and that post-tackle “What did I do?” reaction. Priceless.
#5 Commins Menapi on Riki van Steeden
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 8Style – The “stab them with your studs” technique
Time to go down under for our next entry, this time to New Zealand.
This was a sickening, puke-inducing tackle by Waitakere United striker Commins Menapi on Auckland City’s Riki van Steeden.
Be warned. This is not your everyday cute-kitten-playing-with-a-ball video. Discretion is advised.
#6 Kevin Muscat
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 8Style – Search and destroy
Kevin Muscat is the posterboy of horrendous tackling. He is in fact so good at bad tackles that even Pepe would think twice before messing with Muscat.
Seriously, Kevin Muscat is insane. If you are a footballer and you have to play a match against Muscat, the smartest thing would be to NOT play that game.
Here is the Melbourne captain taking out the opposition player with a not-so-subtle charge-and-kick.
#7 Graeme Souness vs Steau Bucharest
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 9Style – Kick ‘em in the nuts
Graeme Souness loves to make a mark on the game. If not on the game, at least on the opponent’s groin then.
In a match beween Rangers and Steau Bucharest, Souness leaves a ‘lasting impression’ on the opponent. And even worse than the tackle is his attempt to con the referee by playing the victim and pointing to his legs.
This was an awful tackle. As a man, Souness should have known better than to stamp on another man’s delicates.
#8 Harold Schumacher vs Battiston
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 10Style – Charge and kick-in-the-face
The infamous “collision” between German goalkeeper Harold Schumacher and French defender Patrick Battiston is no. 8 on our list of awful tackles and it’s easy to see why.
Schumacher clearly had no intention of playing the ball and proceeded to knock out the Frenchman, leaving him unconscious and with teeth missing.
Battiston would later slip into a coma because of the tackle, but went on to make a remarkable recovery. The tragic irony is that Germany were awarded a freekick after the incident. Go figure.
#9 Nuno Claro on Georgian Paun
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 10Style – Charge and kick-in-the-chest
Another goalkeeper on the list, and this time it’s CFR Cluj’s goalkeeper Nuno Claro kicking out at Georgian Paun of Astra Ploiesti.
Eerily similar to the Nigel de Jong kung fu kick, this tackle is made worse by the fact that Claro had a running start before he lashed out at Paun.
And the protesting innocence bit at the end? For shame, Claro.
#10 Ben Thatcher on Pedro Mendes
Tackle breakdown
Brutality level – 10Style – Elbow in the face, MMA style
There are two big reasons for this being one of the worst tackles in modern football.
1 – Thatcher uses his elbow, one of the strongest parts of the body, to deliberately hit Mendes in the head. Not brushing him to the side, but actually swinging the elbow.
2 – At full speed, any sort of contact is bound to send Mendes flying over the advertising hoarding. The brunt of the attack can been seen by the fact that Mendes is knocked out cold BEFORE he hits the advertising board.
3 – There is never an attempt to play the ball. It is simply an act of violence
Fans of MMA will no doubt be ecstatic at this choice by Thatcher. Mendes was hospitalised and later went on to make a full recovery.
If a similar incident happns in real life and not just on the field, you would be very lucky to escape punishment and possible jail time for this.
