“I can’t have them back”: Johnny Gaudreau's father Guy reflects on grief and memory on the first anniversary of the Gaudreau brothers’ death

It has been one year since the untimely death of NHL star Johnny Gaudreau and his younger brother Matty in a tragic road accident near Salem County. Their loss left an unfillable void for their beloved ones.

For their father Guy, the past year has been defined by grief and by a slow search for moments of light. NHL organizations have invited him to practices, while letters of support have poured in from around the world. Yet, the weight of absence is never far away.

“I’d rather have them back,” he said in an interview published in The Athletic.

Then, in an even quieter voice, he added:

“I can’t have them back.”

The tragedy struck on August 29, 2024, when Johnny and Matty were hit by an alleged drunk driver while riding bicycles near their family home in New Jersey. They had returned to town to celebrate their sister Katie’s wedding which was scheduled for the very next day.

Guy made the heartbreaking admission how he feels pangs of jealousy at seeing other parents with their children.

“I start getting jealous of other people that have their kids, and I don’t have mine,” he said. “Not that I want anything bad to happen to anyone. It just makes me feel like I got (robbed).”

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Johnny Gaudreau’s father opens up on coping with loss

Johnny's wife Meredith gave birth to their third child this past April. Just months earlier, Mattew’s wife Madeline had welcomed their first child Tripp. Guy shared that being with his grandchildren brings him comfort when he sees them picking up the same habits and passions his sons once had.

“When I’m holding him, I don’t have such a big hole in my heart,” he said of his grandson Tripp.

He mentioned that this summer he helped a friend coach a two-week camp in Pennsauken, N.J. about 30 miles from the family home. He explained that he spent seven hours a day on the ice with kids ages 6 to 12, running drills and power skating sessions.

“I started feeling a little bit like my old self,” he shared. “I kind of felt like I accomplished something.”

Guy recalled that not long before the tragedy, both Johnny and Mattew had encouraged him to come out of retirement so he could be the one to teach their children hockey. He hopes that he will have the strength to step back into that role and quietly wishes that all four of his grandchildren will someday fall in love with the game their fathers lived.