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Harvard psychiatrist and addiction expert Dr. Alok Kanojia discussed AI girlfriends and their anticipated behaviors during his July 7, 2025, appearance on The Diary of a CEO podcast.
In conversation with host Steven Bartlett, Dr. Kanojia offered a prediction of a seemingly strange future where AI girlfriends “get pissed” at their users once a month.
"Someone is going to figure out that it is more addicting to have an AI girlfriend who gets pissed at you once a month. So every now and then, like the AI girlfriend is not going to want to talk to you. That’s the one that people are going to stick with. That’s my next prediction," he remarked.
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During the episode, Bartlett brought up the rising popularity of AI girlfriends, pointing to the increasing search volume surrounding the topic.
In response, Dr. Kanojia elaborated on the future trajectory of such AI interactions and emphasized the addictive potential of unpredictability in AI behavior.
The psychiatrist then explained that the “first version” of an AI girlfriend would be "everything" its user wanted it to be.
However, he added that the version of an AI companion who got “pissed” once a month would be the one people ultimately "stick with".
This prediction, he noted, was rooted in the psychological principle of a "random reinforcement schedule".
In psychology, a random reinforcement schedule is a behavioral theory suggesting that rewards given at unpredictable intervals are more effective at maintaining engagement than those delivered consistently.
Dr. Kanojia drew a direct line between this psychological mechanism and future AI relationships, describing how emotional variability would make these AI partners more addictive.
"So, it’s going to be like an AI girlfriend. That’s a loot box," he added.
When Bartlett jokingly replied that this description reminded him of his own girlfriend, Dr. Kanojia responded:
"Exactly. Why? It’s going to be addictive, right? Because if she was nice to you all the time, like, you’d go crazy."
What else did Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia say about an “AI girlfriend” during his appearance on The Diary of a CEO podcast?
In the aforementioned Diary of a CEO podcast, Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia delved deeper into the psychological implications of AI companionship, particularly the rising popularity of the "AI girlfriend".
The conversation unfolded when host Steven Bartlett referenced a well-known behavioral psychology experiment involving pigeons.
Bartlett recalled a study he had learned about in his teenage years.
"I learned about it when I was 16 in psychology classes… the study where they give the pigeon the reward at random intervals. And the pigeon that’s most addicted to performing the behavior per se is the pigeon who gets given the treat randomly, not in a predictable, scheduled way. So random rewards seem to reinforce engagement with behavior," Bartlett explained.
Dr. Kanojia affirmed the analogy, calling it "absolutely 100%" correct. He agreed that the same principle could be applied to how AI companions would be designed to maintain user engagement through unpredictability.
Expanding on this idea, the psychiatrist further explained that future developers would strategically make their AI companions "learn" how to be "volatile."
He detailed that developers would come to understand that giving users everything they want all the time wouldn’t be as effective in keeping them hooked.
Instead, offering desired responses occasionally would strengthen emotional engagement, mimicking the highs and lows of real human interaction.
Dr. Kanojia also compared AI companions to p*rnography, underscoring the lure of instant gratification.
He noted that many people would be drawn to AI relationships simply because of how effortless they were to interact with.
"We are craving these things, and it's so much easier to talk to an AI," the psychiatrist remarked.
However, the psychiatrist warned that this ease would come at a psychological cost. While AI partners would provide companionship on the surface, they would ultimately lack the depth of human connection.
Over time, this disconnect could lead to serious emotional and mental health consequences.
"But I think that over time it's going to mess us up. I don't think that it will be able to create the neurochemical and physiological connection that real humans do, that will really satisfy us," the psychiatrist explained.
As AI technology continues to advance, the future of "AI girlfriend" will likely involve more emotionally intelligent bots capable of complex conversations.
This is a promising step forward in combating loneliness and offering personalized companionship.
However, it also hints at possible social downsides, such as increased isolation and the erosion of human-to-human relationships.
