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13 Reasons Why actress Tommy Dorfman revealed that she secretly eloped with her girlfriend of almost three years, Elise, in fall of 2023. The 31-year-old took to her Instagram on Thursday, May 2, 2024, to reveal her secret marriage, stating:
"I married my best friend and didn’t tell anyone except @hunterabrams who came and photographed us towards the end of last year. We bought our own dresses @doverstreetmarketnewyork where i used to work before acting, and it was perfect.”
The actress continued, detailing their romance in an essay penned for Vogue Magazine that was published on Thursday as well. She explained they met on the dating website Hinge back in 2021 and decided to keep their relationship "private until (they) chose to invite others in."
Dorfman previously married Peter Zurkuhlen in November 2016. They separated amicably in 2021 after Dorfman came out as transgender, filing for divorce in 2022.
Tommy Dorfman was engaged to girlfriend Elise just two months into dating
In her essay, Tommy Dorfman describes Elise as "a redhead with an affinity for "crisp glassware and well-organized bodegas," the type of texter who "does her best," and undeniably beautiful." She says her girlfriend is an extremely private person and doesn't even follow her on Instagram.
It didn't take long for the couple to be engaged, Dorfman explains.
"We got engaged two months into dating. To our credit, we waited a full 12 months before moving in together, so you can’t say we U-Hauled (though one might argue taking in a Great Dane puppy at our six-month mark was a smidge irresponsible)."
The first few months of their relationship set the tone for their marriage. The actress explains they both decided at some point in their relationship they would "just elope." She added that Elise did not want a big" wedding.
The couple picked their wedding dresses "off the rack" one day while shopping at Dover Street Market without a set date in mind. However, Tommy Dorfman wrote that they never got to wear the dress to their actual wedding.
Sometime during Fall 2023, while in Malibu, California, the couple was joking about "same-day marriages". The discussion turned more serious when the Brooklyn-based actress did a quick online search and found a concierge service in Los Angeles for the same. She also found that California was the only state that offered confidential marriage services.
"A few hours later, a man showed up at our hotel in Santa Monica, took photos of us on our iPhones and a disposable camera I bought at CVS that morning, and we ended the day at a concert without telling a soul what we’d done," she penned.
As the event was spontaneous, the brides did not have their wedding dresses. However, once back in Brooklyn, the newlywed couple wore the dresses and had a photoshoot. Once they had the photos from the shoot in hand, they decided they wanted to share the news with everyone.
However, Tommy Dorfman sternly explained that they will not "live (their) lives online," but they do not see why they cannot celebrate the occasion with the world.
Tommy Dorfman is best remembered for playing Ryan Shaver in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why (2017). After their divorce, Peter Zurkuhlen expressed his support for Dorfman in an Instagram repost of Dorfman's photo, saying he was proud of her and calling her "gorgeous" and "fully you."
