Football Edition - Why did the chicken cross the road?

For years, the famous question has tormented the greatest of human minds. Philosophers spent ages debating it, scientists tried cloning the chicken that crossed, and Navjot Singh Sidhu – well, he just made Tandoori Kabab out of it. We thought that was the end of it, but the chicken was spotted trying to cross the road again last week, and we tried asking some of the famous footballers the classic question – Why did the chicken cross the road?

Though footballers are stereotyped as dumb minds, we are sure that what they said about the chicken was not too dumb. Or was it?

Bobby Robson: The chicken was crossing on the Concorde. That’ll shorten the distance — that’s self-explanatory. There will be a race someday where somebody else may cross the road faster than the chicken, and that might be the race he loses.

Bill Shankly: Some people think crossing the road is a matter of life and death — but I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.

Brian Clough: If I had an argument with the chicken we would sit down for twenty minutes, talk about it and then decide I was right.

David Beckham: That chicken is the best chicken I’ve seen at this level. Well, he’s the only chicken I’ve actually seen at this level, but he’s the best chicken I’ve seen.

Peter Jones: The chicken would have crossed 10 times out of 10, but that wasn’t one of them.

Jose Mourinho: Please don’t call him arrogant, but he is a cross-road champion and he thinks he’s the special one.

Sir Alex Ferguson: His greatest challenge is not what’s happening at the moment, his greatest challenge was knocking the other chicken right off their f*****g perch.

Balotelli : Why always the chicken?

Howard Wilkinson: There are only two types of chicken. Those who have crossed, and those who will cross in the future.

Arsene Wenger: I did not know anything about it. I didn’t see it.

Kevin Keegan: I’ll tell you, honestly, I will love it if the chicken crosses the road, love it.

Cristiano Ronaldo: Maybe they hate him because he’s too good.

Roy Keane: That chicken can rot in hell for all I care.

Ian Holloway: He has such bad luck at the moment that if he fell in a barrel of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb.

Carlton Palmer: Unless the chicken crosses in England, he is not a proven world class chicken.

Andy Gray: The chicken, being female does not know the offside rule.

Rafael Benitez: I’m only interested in fachts.

Stewart Downing : Even the chicken crossed, I wish I could!

Barcelona players: We spoke to the chicken in Ibiza and he said he was suffering, because he really wants to come. It’s what he most wants, he’s done everything he can to come.

Diego Maradona: I’m not surprised by the chicken’s comments. He should return to the museum.

Gerard Houllier: You can’t say the chicken isn’t a winner. He has proved that by finishing fourth, third and second in the last three years.

Gary Lineker: Crossing the road is a simple game, 22 chickens chase each other for 90 minutes and at the end, the German chicken wins.

Edin Hand: There are two certainties in life. People die, and the chicken crosses the road.

A chant at Anfield: We all dream of a team of chickens.

Ronaldo: The chicken lost because it didn’t cross.

Alan Hansen: You can’t win anything with chickens.

And this is why Javier Pastore hates chickens:

If you have any more quotes on the chicken that crossed the road, feel free to post them in the comments section. And while you’re having a hearty laugh, check out the highly successful series:

Cartoon Look-alikes in football Part 1

Cartoon Look-alikes in football Part 2