AB, we are bothered, what is happening?

Trembling in fear, gaping on with apprehension, with the suspense, that dreadful feeling of not being able to do anything even as the people you love the most look disturbed, rattled, scurry around without conviction; there is anxiety to step up, walk out, take them by their hands and guide them, lead them, relieve them; yet, there is only so much one can do, only so much one wants to do, just close the eyes, or look elsewhere, you look for bliss, it never arrives; will it ever arrive?

Is AB de Villiers responsible for the rut South Africa is going through and is he looking elsewhere, too proud to open his eyes?

The man is 33, he has played over 100 Tests and looks fit and ready, as ever, and yet he is not sure what to do. He is contemplating stepping down from Test cricket. But contemplation is for mere mortals, AB might have even made up his mind.

Has he thought it through? This is the age when batting hits its peak; this is the time when AB seems to have had enough!

"Your career is successful if you have left the game better than you found it!"

A profound quote every great makes once he decides to move on. Can De Villiers stick his neck out and blurt it out?

The mere fact that we are discussing this does not do justice to the man, but then, has he, or is he doing justice to South Africa?

"I don't feel like I need to prove anyone wrong or prove something to someone. I just want to go play. I feel like a youngster starting my career again. I am really full of energy and love playing. I just want to score some runs again and captain the team to a few good wins", he said after South Africa crashed out of yet another ICC Trophy.

You have to feel for the man, he has almost stained his near-perfect Test career to lead his side to an ICC silverware and yet, he falters, his team stumbles.

But then, when it came to Test cricket, De Villiers has been non-committal, he has been so for the past 10 months. South Africa were bothered initially, they moved on eventually, Faf du Plessis, the eternal bridesmaid became the bride and soon there was no spot for their Talisman.

Success is sweet, it gives you unbridled joy, but failure is more public. You are forced to sit back and reflect, and if you are keen on failure being a temporary detour and not a dead end, changes need to be ushered in.

Back in January, AB was injured, he was nursing his elbow injury which ruled him out of the England Test series. After much hullabaloo and plenty of frenzy, he decided to look elsewhere from the Sri Lanka Test series. Apparently, he was not convinced about his workload.

With the ICC Champions Trophy coming up, people understood this from their key player, South Africa were not too bothered too, they had reserves who could fill in for De Villiers. Sri Lanka were brushed aside. Everything looked hunky-dory.

Except, it wasn't.

Success is sweet, but it is also fickle. South Africa had won their last three Test series without De Villiers in the mix and soon his name stopped surfacing before any series.

And then the Champions Trophy hit South Africa, it flattened them, AB faltered in the knockout match against India as South Africa choked, all over again. Surely this was the not master plan carefully charted by their captain, their star. It could not have been and yet it was.

You did not need to be in his pocket to understand something is off. He is affable, is De Villiers with a smile always on his face. Except, he never did smile during the Champions Trophy and strangely his bat was a reflection of his psyche.

Where is that smile?

Was he jaded, was he confused, was he gaping on in apprehension, was he on the decline, where was he?

"We will see what works for both parties," De Villiers said.

"We are not going to pick and choose games, but we are going to make a final decision about what happens for the next few years," he added after his side went down 2-1 to England in the T20 series which followed the shambles of the Champions Trophy.

And then promptly we realised, wait, he is not playing in the Test series, what are his reasons now?

Reasons were never known, Faf du Plessis was the leader of side and he had to go back to his wife as they were expecting the birth of their first child. There was no Dale Steyn and although South Africa always manage to get things done in whites, they were hammered by England.

Where are you, AB?

He was fit and yet the questions floated around and no one bothered to answer them.

Where are you going, AB?

"It's my main dream to win a World Cup for South Africa, or to be part of it in one way or another… I don't even think it's in my hands, what is going to happen."

Decipher what you can of this statement!

He wants to be ready for the Bangladesh series and he is the marquee player for the Pretoria franchise for the inaugural Global T20 Championship.

He yearns for an ICC trophy with South Africa, he wants to remain fresh, he wants to sound correct, but by doing so has he become greater than the game itself?

Nelson Mandela's ideologies still guide South Africa, and AB has on many occasions spoken very fondly about him.

"I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward."

These are pointed statements from Madiba and in many ways, it could define what AB would eventually do.