IPL 3: Spare us the **** Moment of Success

I am mighty irritated and angry on myself. Feel down right dumb and silly. And it all started a couple of days back. Came home and switched on TV, the first IPL match of the day had just finished. Some commentator was well as usual going ga ga over the quality(??!!) of cricket and he ended it up with thats a ” ____ Moment of success”. I didn’t get it the frst time. In the 2 nd match of the day, the phrase was oft repeated n somehow i never could get it. Swallowing my pride of being relatively better off with Queen’s language , finally did a Google ( foolish me) to search for such a phrase with ofcourse no success. That was till i read an article on Cricinfo by an equally dumb struck guy. It’s actually ” Citi Moment of Success”. Wow.While ‘Karbonn Kamaal ka Catch ‘ n ‘DLF Maximum’ is a throwback to the era of only DD and AIR , ( yeh laga BSNL ka chowka) , this moment of success takes the cake. It has just added to a looooong list of things that makes Cricket such a pain to watch now.

True Picture of IPL Cricket

First and foremost is the Broadcaster Set Max. This channel is second only to Lalit Modi n IPL to turn Cricket from being a Sport to an entertainment show a la WWE. Mindless promotions, Events, parties, TV hosts with combined IQ of 20 odd. Anyone remember the pre IPL days some 5-6 yrs back. A certain Roshan Abbas wud sit along with very ordinary yesteryear cricketers n zap on non stop. A Set Max telecast guaranteed that in ODI’s u miss the frst and last ball of every over. The trend continues. An entire industry has flourished due to this. Desperate Guys trying to play cool and Hot Babes acting intelligent all are having a field day literally. Anyone whose connect to cricket is limited to that Section A vs Section B in 4th Std. at school has a chance to sit in the box and join the likes of Gavaskar, Ravi and Harsha. But the real torture by Set Max was to unleash Ms. Mandira Bedi. Oh she of Noodles Straps and High Heels. That she is an ambassador of cricket for the fairer sex and sex appeal for the men’s team is only a reflection of times we live in. Or Perhaps in my limited understanding i could not fathom the deeper meanings of her questions.What Color socks do u wear to win has floored even a Wasim Akram , who am I?

In gud old times the only Over the Top persona to enter the Commentary Box after Tony Grieg was Navjot Sidhu. IPL commentators has made both Tony and Sidhu luk like novices . A guy has just got out or has been clobbered for 20 odd runs in an over and up pops a formal attired person with a simple Question” How does it feel”? F****** gr8 Einstein. Or “What is your strategy for Hayden/Gilli/yuvi…. “? , Oh here take my notes and read it .How is a player supposed to react. And mind you these are the same guys who had educated an entire generation on finer nuances of cricket sitting in that Box. I understand a Ravi, Harsha, Gavaskar got a job to do and taking sponsors name is mandatory. But how do u explain the inane comments except perhaps that even Shakespeare wud have had run out of new expressions match after match.

The Karbonn Kamaal Catch ( Why does evry1 need Dual sim phone all of a sudden), however sitter the catch would be, DLF Maximuim are here to stay along with the Citi Moment. The least the Tv Commentators can do is cut down on some of their comments.

” The Atmoshphere is Electric”.

” This Crowd is unbelievable”. Which one isn’t

” That has Gone Miles up in the Air, Someone’s getting underneath it”. Obviously that’s how u get a player out.

” He needs to do better than that” after the bowler has been hit out of park.

” This game has gone down to the wire” . It’s T20. Matches invariably end up in last overs quite frequently.

” Rajasthan Royals need a win desperately”. Yes they do. They have lost all so far

” Why is it called Mongoose? ” Ask Hayden Man. How wud we know ?

” They have all come out here to see there favorite players in action “, Really not the cheer leaders?

For most of us IPL is all about time pass. We come home and see some cricket still as a sport. All of us have our favorite teams but the teams do not have die hard fans like EPL. At least not yet. The Commerce of the game demands IPL is here to stay. But is it really necessary to demean it in such raucous manner. The games are so entertaining by themselves. Why search for Voice of India, Dancer, Actor , Leader all at this one place. Its all right to attract the Non Cricket lovers to the game ( this tribe is a rarity in itself) but what about the real Cricket Lovers who have no other options. ( Why am i feeling another wave of anger on Hockey Team).

Give me some good cricket and thats all i want and please cut down on accessories. The base Model is just fine for me.

Though i am still curious about one thing. The team that will have more Citi Moments in a match are sure going to win. Right?