MS Dhoni's 10 World Cup headaches

MS Dhoni at a photo session on occasion of the 2015 World Cup

Dhoni is having sleepless nights as World Cup fever is now knocking at the door, and knocking loudly at that. Captain Cool has been maintaining his cool for the past 7 years but just to leave behind some tension before the Cup, he has had to leave his Test captaincy.

Still, thanks to his teammates his strands of hair continue to turn grey despite practising Baba Ramdev’s yoga. Here is a list of the headaches that is plaguing the India captain right now:

Shikhar Dhawan: His name might be Shikhar (pinnacle), but he has been able to reach the pinnacle of his batting only in the subcontinent. He used to be ‘D One’, but his recent form has allowed everyone to point fingers at him as if he is ‘Ra.One’.

Rohit Sharma: It might be the “Curious case of Rohit Sharma” given that his batting records and his talent don’t go hand in hand. One day he can be ‘So hit’ Sharma and the very next day he can be ‘No hit’ Sharma.

Virat Kohli: His bat is a sticker of ‘kiss for miss’ right now, but his temper is always a concern for the captain. He can be the brand ambassador of ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ as his name is ideally Virat ‘Keh ke Li’. Particularly after his spat with Shikhar, Dhoni is extra cautious.

Ajinkya Rahane: He is now permanent in this squad but there was a time when he used to warm the bench and asked MSD everyday “Aaj in Kya” (Am I in the squad today). He has made good use of the opportunities given to him and can be the next Mr Dependable after Dravid (following in his mentor’s footsteps) but his scoring rate can be a concern.

Stuart Binny: His career has been in the ‘Bin’ for quite some time now but finally it has resurrected. All fingers were pointed at him as his father was in the selection committee. Dhoni had to defend his selection earlier on but right now he can be an asset for the team.

Sir Jadeja: After scoring a half century his bat swirls in air as a nunchaku (turning into a ninja is one of Sir’s many talents). He is acceptable as long as he is fit and delivering as an all-rounder, but due to his fitness concerns, he is fearing that his chances might be axed or rather Axared.

Axar Patel: Given the dominance of gujjus everywhere in the country, he is coming to the cricketing forefront at the right time. Talented guy who promises that he is a batting all rounder but all he is getting in the past few matches is a big round (0). Let’s see if he can mend his ways, otherwise very soon he might be ‘Axed’ Patel.

Ravi Chandran Ashwin: His name might be RCA but his berth in the world cup playing eleven is still RAC (promoting cash strapped Indian railways) i.e., not yet confirmed, due to the inclusion of Axar in the squad.

Umesh Yadav: or rather ‘U Smash and I will watch’ Yadav. His economy rate will have left two people baffled – MSD and our finance minister. MSD wants to bring it down but the finance minister is asking him the magic formula to achieve such an economy rate (or rather economy growth rate).

Mohit Sharma: The only thing common in between the two Sharmas of our team is their inconsistency. It’s like Bollywood’s Karan Arjun all over again with MSD playing the role of Rakhi, the sad mother who is like’ Mere Karan Arjun aayenge’. In this case MSD’s line is, ‘Mere Sharmas form me aayenge’.

Despite all the problems, we all know that our Captain Cool is known to give headaches to the opposition with his batting and captaincy. I hope he rubs off a little bit of his Midas touch onto his players.

Indian players bounce back when they are written off. Now is their chance to use some ‘Thanda thanda Cool cool’ oil and cure Dhoni of his headaches. The sooner they perform as a winning unit, the better Dhoni and India will feel. Let’s keep the morale high and vow to not give it back!