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Satire: How Indian cricketers celebrated New Year

Ajith
ANALYST
Feature
Modified 02 Jan 2014, 20:46 IST

1. Why didn’t Suresh Raina attend any new year party?
A. He was afraid of bouncers.

2. What’s the difference between others attending a new year party and Dhoni attending one?
A. Dhoni would be partying for the previous year as he likes to postpone things until the last over (in this case last hour).

3. Why didn’t anyone invite Sidhu to the new year parties?
A. His loud laugh would disturb the DJ.

4. What did Gautam Gambhir do at his new year party?
A. He poked everyone.

5. What did they serve at Ravi Shastri’s new year party?
A. Medicines, because that’s just what the doctor ordered.

6. What did Virat Kohli do for new year?
A. He gave missed calls to everyone, and gave gaalis to those who called him back.

7. What happened at Ashish Nehra’s new year party?
A. He ate a banana and puked.

8. What did Rahul Sharma do in his new year’s party?
A. He invited the police too, just to be on the safer side.

9. What was served at Rohit Sharma’s new year party?
A. Maggi, of course.

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10. What was special at Ishant Sharma’s new year party?
A. He had requested for Z level security to protect his hair from drunk barbers.

11. What happened at Manoj Tiwary’s new year party?
A. He was sitting on the bench. And he got injured.

12. How did Virender Sehwag celebrate new year?
A. He danced, without moving his feet, perfect hand eye coordination.

13. What did Sachin do for new year?
A. Adjust his underpants.

14. What else did Sachin do for new year?
A. Spent time with family watching old videos of Roger Federer.

15. What did Sunil Gavaskar do at a new year party?
A. He took his partner and walked out because the others were shouting too much.

16. What did Ravichandran Ashwin do at his new year party?
A. Played carrom; because, there’s no running involved in that game.

17. How did Murali Vijay celebrate new year?
A. By missing it completely.

18. Who did LSRK take with him to the new year party?
A. A Carbon Kamaal ‘Catch’.

19. What did N Srinivasan do before hosting a new year party?
A. Consult his astrologer.

20. How did the new year celebrate Ravindra Jadeja?
A. Read the question again. That!

Published 02 Jan 2014, 20:46 IST
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