In a world as dark as this, entertainment is like flashes of light that people look at in an attempt to forget the pain and burden that life can sometimes be. The most common form of entertainment people look at is football and music—both of these elements bring joy to people’s heart in most cases.
However, there are, of course, exceptions. The light sometimes becomes so vivid that it begins to hurt the eyes. In terms of music, there are celebrities who make one wish that they never developed the ability to hear.
Similarly, in football, some players are so bad at what they do that they become the prime reason for a person’s hair loss. Keeping all this in mind, here are 5 infamous footballers and their musician equivalents.
1) Ali Dia – Roddur Roy
At first, I thought of keeping this as the last slide. However, the thought of you people not reading till the last slide and missing out on knowing one of the most hilarious musicians of the YouTube era was an unpleasant one, so I couldn’t pursue my initial plan.
Enter Roddur Roy—the man who doesn’t give a toss about what people think of him. The level of satire in his songs is on another level entirely. He sings in his own unconventional way, with no thought about the rhythm or tune. He plays his own instrument and tops it all with some beautiful facial expressions.
Similarly, Ali Dia’s story is an inspirational one for conmen. At first, his friend impersonated George Weah and conned then Southampton manager, Graeme Souness, into signing him for the club. Claiming to be the cousin of the legendary footballer with a glorious ongoing international career, he was signed by the club.
Coming on as a sub for Matt Le Tissier, it took only 18 minutes for the others to realise that he knew nothing about playing the sport. He was then substituted. Both of these people are similar in lots of ways.
For one, both are absolutely horrible at what they do and they know it, and yet they do it.
2) Peter Crouch – Bhim Niroula
Now, some might be offended by this. However, let me make it clear that this is not a dig at the player’s ability. In fact, Crouch was a decent player, something that can’t be said of Bhim Niroula as a musician.
However, the reason why I have put them as equivalent is for one simple reason only: both of them are hilariously atrocious dancers.
When one sees Bhim Niroula dancing, she/he can’t help but laugh their guts out. The expressions he gives while dancing with some absolutely random steps is a form of comedy that is out of this universe. Similarly, every time Peter Crouch scored a goal, the dread of watching him do the ‘robot’ took the form of a chilly feeling down the spine of viewers.
3) Emile Heskey – Honey Singh
The similarities Heskey and Singh share are quite striking, to say the least. For one, both are famous and have represented their countries on an international stage numerous times.
But the most important feature they share is being absolutely atrocious at what they do.
While one was supposedly a ‘striker’ the other is a ‘singer’. Despite being unable to sing or play, both have garnered fans for themselves. However, there are also people who mock them for their lack of ability in their respective fields of ‘expertise’.
The worst part about them is that no matter how much you try to avoid them, they will always pop up in almost every other conversation related to their respective fields. Also, how they managed to carve out a successful career is a question that befuddles many.
4) Luis Nani – Vennu Mallesh
The two questions we ask when we watch Vennu Mallesh sing and Luis Nani play: how does the former have more than 5 million views on his ‘It’s my life’ music video and how does the latter still play competitive football?
We might never get an answer to these earth-shattering questions, but what we do know is that they enrage people with their ability (or lack, thereof) at what they do.
Another similarity they have is that they just don’t seem to care. While Nani seems completely indifferent to the mishaps he does on a football pitch, Vennu Mallesh actually has a deeply-rooted narcissistic complex that blinds him from the disaster that he calls music.
And finally, both of them are perfectly adept at ruining other people’s work. Nani once destroyed a perfectly wonderful Cristiano Ronaldo goal against Spain whereas Vennu Mallesh’s version of Michael Jackson’s ‘They don’t really care about us’ is what one would call a complete annihilation of legacy.
5) Nicklas Bendtner – Taher Shah
Nicklas Bendtner once claimed that he is one of the best footballers in the world. Taher Shah claims that he is “a creative person.” You see where I am going with this?
The narcissism these two ooze is beyond conceivable. In fact, Taher Shah took it to another level with his ‘Eye to Eye’ music video. The ignorance about how terrible they are what they do actually eludes their mind and it is for this reason that they could claim to be great despite being anything but.
While Bendtner once actually did have the potential to be a great player, the only thing Taher Shah could ever be best at is killing people with his killer music videos.
