In football, there are fans and there are "plastic fans"

Remember the time when watching football used to be about, well, watching football?

Over the last few years, the good old game of football has evolved from action on the pitch to heated debates off the field. Back in the day, football was about supporting your club, going back to school or work and either gloating or aggressively defending your team.

Live telecasts on the telly did not change much because the underlying understanding did not change. If you did not know football, you could not bluff your way through. Unless you actually watched or understood the game, you couldn’t claim to be a fan/supporter, and so couldn’t be part of the cool group.

Then came the internet.

With the advent of social media, faceless conversations became a possibility. As a result, people started voicing their opinions more vociferously, what with the fear of a face-to-face confrontation removed. To an extent, even that was fine; you could still have an intelligent conversation with the fans of a rival club.

And then, it got worse.

After a point of time, people who really knew nothing about the game started taking part in said conversations. These were people who wanted to be known that they belonged to the “cool” group. You know, the ones for whom watching cricket was anathema for no other reason other than the fact that it was too mainstream. Football being the next best alternative, they took to the sport like ducks to water, with the only difference being that these people remained ugly ducklings instead of growing into beautiful swans.

While in itself it may not have been such a bad thing, as it only talks more about the popularity of the sport more than anything else, there has been an unwanted evolution in this fan-base, a sixth finger if you will.

The birth of the plastic fan.

Before we even go into how the plastic fan is ruining/enhancing the experience of watching the beautiful game, it is interesting to look at how this particular set of fans evolved over time.

At first, the plastic fan tried fitting in by actually trying to have a sensible discussion. Unfortunately, as the species, by its very nature, did not have enough knowledge nor showed any inclination towards making an effort to learn, it got beaten down in all kinds of discussions. There was no hope as even the facelessness of social media wasn’t enough to protect it from shame.

But then, this wasn’t a species that was of the dinosaur variety. It worshipped Charles Darwin and truly believed in the concept of the “Survival of the Fittest.” And so, survival instincts kicked in and evolution did its thing.

These “fans” more than made up for their limited knowledge of the game by becoming trolls. A troll, as you would know, is one whose intention is to provoke an emotional response from the other person and ensure that a normal discussion is disrupted.

Contrary to popular perception, a “plastic fan” is not one that supports a team purely based on their trophy collection and being the more successful team of that time. It is understandable that in most cases, especially when there are no geographical or emotional ties to any of the teams, one would want to support a team that has a decent chance of winning, unless, of course, you are a masochist (in which case you would no doubt be a Spurs fan).

Rather, the title of a plastic fan is conferred to those people for whom it is more important to gloat about winning over actually watching the game and enjoying it. Instead of supporting their team by either watching or trying to find out who performed and who did not, they wait for the game to be over simply so that they can come online and rub it in the face of hapless rival fans. You can forget about having any sort of discussion regarding the match in such cases as the standard response after one or two arguments that you put forth would be, “we won, and that’s all that matters”.

And God save you the day their team loses. My sincere suggestion would be to stay away from these “plastic fans”, even if the thought of getting back at them to give them a taste of their own medicine tugs at you ferociously.

As pointed out on the previous page, even a win can solicit only a couple of arguments from them before the discussion is shut down, primarily because even they realise that to talk more would mean that they would have to betray the fact that their knowledge of the game is next to nothing.

In the case of a defeat, some “plastic fans” do have the presence of mind to stay away from the wolfpack that is waiting for them on the World Wide Web. They’d rather be called cowards than risk the painful duty of having to defend their team, which is a prerogative of any self-respecting supporter. That’s the motto of all fan clubs, isn’t it? In victory or defeat, we stand by you.

The rest of the “plastic fans”, which is a huge majority by the way, do come out of their shells to admirably support their team. But remember, this is not out of any particular love for their club. It is because they want to be looked upon as sincere and legitimate fans, and they have seen that their team has to be defended even in defeat.

But alas, this is where they get caught. In their eagerness to apportion blame on the manager or the players or the opposition or the referee (seeing that is what the fans do), they invariably expose their lack of understanding of the game and say something utterly ridiculous that even embarrasses the genuine fans of their club (defending a two-footed tackle by claiming that one foot was pointing away from the player and hence was not worthy of a red card is one of the most insanely idiotic arguments I have ever heard, and I have been witness to quite a few in my lifetime).

Even Buzz feels the pain of the plastic

And as a result, invite all the bile that is invariably directed towards them.

Knowing the history of your club is yet another aspect which exposes the difference between a “plastic fan” and a genuine fan. When you whole-heartedly support a club because you want to tie yourself emotionally to its success and failures (and not because you want to be seen as one of the “cool” people), there would be a natural curiosity for you to want to know about your club’s past – the trophies they won, the managers they had, all the important events in its history.

While nobody expects you to reel off random stats and trivia at the slightest opportunity (which would only mean that you have absolutely no social life whatsoever), you are expected to know about all the important events, managers and players, and there can be no excuse for not knowing.

This is another area where the “plastic fan” miserably fails as he is not in for the emotional attachment, and therefore will not see the need to make a proper effort to know about the history of the club and its significance.

Any arguments stating, ‘things that happened before my time are not my problem and I don’t need to know’, are invalid. It’s like saying you don’t need to know about the struggle for independence just because you weren’t alive at that time. Yes, it is that moronic, and it calls for additional mud to be slinged at said fan.

Another myth about the “plastic fan” label is that it is only given to fans of clubs with new-found wealth. Rest assured, that is definitely not the case. Every successful club has its own band of “plastic fans”. Irrespective of whether you support Madrid, Barcelona, Chelsea, Arsenal (yes, even Arsenal who couldn’t be backed to win a trophy for close to a decade even if their life depended on it!), you will have “plastic fans”. Every Tom, Dick and Harry (mostly Dick though) is a Manchester United fan. Ask them about a famous player from the past and you won’t even get a squeak out of them!

So, dear reader, while I congratulate you for having patiently sat through this monologue, all I wish to say is that supporting a club is neither a lottery nor something you pick from a list of choices. Supporting a club is much more than that.

You need to find your calling; you need to fall in love with the club. It can be something as obscure as the colour of their jersey or something as complex as their style of play. But there has to be a connection that would make you emotionally entangle yourself in their fortunes. If you do not have that addiction, congratulations! You are a “plastic fan”.