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Singing Hoedown: Mario Balotelli

Vineet Basu
857   //    17 Dec 2012, 11:28 IST

I was watching the very popular TV series ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’, when they had a round called Hoedown. The 4 members of the show were given a topic, and each had to sing 4 lines regarding the topic, in an American folk song style. Sure enough, as a football fan, I started wondering what it’d be like if Mario Balotelli were involved in one of these.

Stars on the show : Jose Mourinho, Roberto Mancini, Joey Barton and Mario Balotelli.

*Music starts*

Mourinho :

I’ve worked with Balotelli, and boy was it a pain;
When he loses his head, my tactics go down the drain.
He does the weirdest stuff; he rubs the club name in dirt;
He gets himself clicked wearing our city rival’s shirt!! 


Mario Balotelli is infamous for his deeds;
When he gets bored in training, he throws darts at the kids.
He makes me wanna tear my hair, makes me wanna retire;
How did he even manage to set his bathroom on fire?!


Come don’t make me laugh now, Mario’s just a kid;
Ask for my opinion when he’s done half the things I did.
What’s with all the talk? I don’t see the reason;
He’s not even a man; neither punched nor been to prison!



I don’t like being laughed at; I think it isn’t fair;
They make fun of my celebration; sometimes even my hair.
What’s the big deal if I throw darts or crash my Audi?
Why can’t they leave me alone? WHY ALWAYS ME?!

Topics you might be interested in:
Vineet Basu
Master of Sport Administration from AISTS, Switzerland with an annoyingly stubborn love for sports, especially football
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