Top 10 worst Arsenal Hairstyles – They’ve got crap hair but we don’t care!

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It has been an incredible few weeks and I am still sitting at my desk grinning with pride at how I witnessed my team destroy in a 30 minute period last night one of Europe’s finest. I was sitting in the West Upper thinking the first half and hour was like the first half from Barcelona in 2011 when we simply did not touch the ball. Well Napoli must have felt like we did back then.

However as I am sure numerous bloggers will write excellent match reviews I wanted to get back to the more serious matter of this subject inspired by the Great Dane/Jesus himself, Nicklas Bentdner. As always on IND2OU my research has been extensive and comprehensive so this really should be a definitive guide to the top 1o worst Arsenal hairstyles and the men who gave them to us.

Here goes…

New in at No 10 we have the under stated Russian army cut sported by our own little Meerkat Andrei Arshavin in 2010/11. The severe pudding basin trim was undoubtedly the turning point for Andrey and he never hit the heights again.

The Original military pudding bowl

The Original military pudding bowl

At No.9 we have Sky Sports Soccer Saturday’s most stylish pundit Champagne Charlie Nicholas. Mullets were common in the late ’80s, but Charlie seemed to effortlessly combine the footballer mullet with the hairspray and flicks more at home in Duran Duran.

His name was Charlie and he danced across the sand
His name was Charlie and he danced across the sand

At No. 8 our very own 3 month wonder Marouanne Chamakh. The front cut with pinking shears and the top central rigidly gelled into the style of a cockerel. I would like to say it got messed up when he headed the ball but to be honest I can’t remember it happening after November 2010 – Him heading the ball that is!

A Cockerel who never came home to roost

A Cockerel who never came home to roost

At No.7 it is our favourite cry baby and ex-skipper William Gallas (it still makes me sick to think that) whose antics on the pitch at St Andrews were the beginning of the end of our challenge in 2008. Not totally forgiven for this by me and many other Gooners, despite some good games subsequently. William you were never cool enough to carry off this hairstyle and frankly looked a Knob – Appropriate as it goes!

Mohawk Knob

Mohawk Knob

At No. 6 it is Mr ‘We all agree Graham Rix is better than Hoddle.’ Of course he never was but we did love him on the North Bank. Still amazing to think he stated every game for England on the 82 World Cup but we weren’t complaining as he was our own homegrown lad. Our Graham could not help the fact that his hair was naturally curly but in retrospect he could have realized he looked ridiculous and kept it short as he did later.

Graham 'Mophead' Rix

Graham ‘Mophead’ Rix

At No.5 it is the man who insored this serious research, Nicklas Bendtner himself. The man is so much the king of fashion and hair that he has 2 styles worthy of note and entry. It remains to be seen if his golas and talent will live as long in the memory of the Gooner collective as his Mullet extraordinaire of his Jesus look of 2013. You decide

Peace Gooner Brothers!

Peace Gooner Brothers!

Oh dear Nico!

Oh dear Nico!

At No.4 it is the greatest player never to have achieved ‘Legend’ status in N5. Oh Cesc, Cesc, Cesc Fabregas! What could have been had you stayed just one more season, we will never know. Perhaps we should have known when you burst on the scene at 16 that at 17 you would be better than Roy Keane. Perhaps also ultimately we might have known not to trust a Spaniard with quite possibly the worst combination of a gelled upper and mullet rear hairstyle in the first place.

There is NOTHING right about this!

There is NOTHING right about this!

At No.3 it has to be the legend that is Alan, Alan Alan Sunderland, so good they named him thrice. The largest Afro sported by a white man seen in 1970s London and the hair that won us the 1979 FA Cup Final in the last minute. He pips Rixie’s white man afro because it is quite frankly bigger and has the moustache combo. Alan you deserved more from Arsenal than John Hawley and Ray Hankin when Judas Stapleton deserted you and we salute you for giving us and football a never to be repeated moment at Wembley.

Alan you could not make it up!

Alan you could not make it up!

The Hair that won the Cup – Where is the yellow ribbon?

At No.2 it can only be another legend for hair and not much else now in the eyes of fans Alex Song. A self style fashionista young Alex brought us many a style to admire or alternatively laugh uncontrollably at but in the main he carried them off. The Mr White look and the bleached Mohawk probably are the pick of the bunch and here they are in their fullest glory… Oh what might have been as ‘there may only be one Song’ but there are several better midfielders and most of them play for us now.

A Classic of it's time and no mistake

A Classic of its time and no mistake.

Mt White - Even the Eyebrows!!

Mt White – Even the Eyebrows!!

At No.1 it can only be Freddie Ljungberg. Yes it was bad; yes it often lacked style, here pictured at its worst and its best. But did we care? No we certainly did not because he dyed it Red for us and to symbolize that he was a Gunner like us. Is there any other player in the club’s illustrious history that has had his own song about his hair? Before you say Stevie Bould that was because of his lack of hair!

The indisputable Top Gunner of bad haircuts is Freddie – WE LOVE YOU.

The Red Hair lowpoint

The Red Hair lowpoint

The Red Hair highpoint

The Red Hair highpoint

Thanks for the memories Freddie. Your goal scoring streak in 2002 when we had lost our talisman and player of the year Bobby Pires will never be forgotten. 7 goals in 9 games including the one in the Cup Final gave us the double. Freddie, IND2OU salutes you and your RED HAIR!

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