I wish The Miz and Maryse were the actual stars of Total Bellas
If you know me, you know I spent the autumn of my discontent covering the E! Channel’s Total Divas spin-off, Total Bellas. You know, the show Nikki and Brie needed because they weren’t on television enough. Basically, it was a lot of “Is Cena gonna actually kill that dog?” and “My neck, Bryan’s head, penis jokes!” It was rough.
There were times when I considered leaving all of this behind, my Aquaman comic books and Melvins 7-inches, all of it, and living in the sewers with the C.H.U.D.s until I was dead.
So when Total Bellas Bulls*** premiered on SmackDown live, it was like I was being rewarded for writing over a thousand words a week about how John Laurinaitis was inexplicably the best part of the show. They nailed their impressions, balancing outrageousness with familiarity better than some professional comedians.
I was particularly smitten with the DDP Yoga DVD set product placement since I actually have and sometimes use it.
This is also good television for fans of pro wrestling because while it’s pretty widely used trope, pre-taped segments like this usually fall flat. For every Heath and Rhyno on-location trailer spot, we get buckets of The New Day vs. The Wyatt Family in a Forest Parking Lot garbage that never translates and is immediately forgotten.
While the Heath Rhyno stuff helped develop character for those two, Total Bulls*** did the same, touching on the always questionable/rarely acknowledged Cena/Nikki relationship and strengthening the idea that Miz and Maryse are total s***heads. But it also moved the WrestleMania match and feud forward, helping all four people involved.
It’s almost surprising that they hadn’t already done this specific segment, and even more surprising that it’s not done that well more often.
(I'll be covering Total Bellas season 2, so if anybody knows a good therapist, hit me up)
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Teddy Long snaps when Swerve Strickland's race is brought up HERE
