Wrestling at its core is a simple form of entertainment. Two participants enter the ring and when one wrestler can successfully score a pinfall or a submission, a winner is declared. Easy enough, right? It sounds easy but that formula isn’t always enough to keep crowds entertained, so changes are inevitably made.
To spice things up every now and then, creative match stipulations have been developed. From bending the rules to allow for the use of all sorts of weaponry to agreeing to various outcomes based on who the victor is, a simple wrestling match can quickly become convoluted.
Some of these stipulations can heighten the action and increase the drama, however, some of these can also push the show in very strange directions.
Scouring various promotions from across the globe, it doesn’t take long to find some downright ridiculous match stipulations throughout the history of this sport. Men diapering their opponents after they’ve lost to deathmatches, involving explosives inside unwanted orifices; people have thought up some wild matches.
This article explores some of the absolute most ridiculous stipulations that most fans are probably unaware of, but be warned that much of the content matter might not be for the faint of heart. Fireworks in places that you would least expect and acts of crustacean cruelty lie ahead so consider yourself warned of the nature of this article.
First up on this list is a more lighthearted entry. It’s okay if you chuckle a little at this ridiculous stipulation...
#5 Silent match
If there’s one promotion that can attempt a humorous match and actually pull it off, it is DDT. The rules to a Silent Match are simple; if a wrestler makes a loud noise then they are deducted one point. They have three points at the start of the match so when they make a loud noise three times, they lose the contest.
In the NOSAWA vs. Muscle Sakai Silent Match, the stipulation was apparently contagious because even the announcers called the match in a whisper. One of the more clever exploitations of the rules in this one was when Sakai used what appeared to be pepper and doused it into his opponent’s face.
This resulted in sneezing, an obvious reason for a loss of a point.
#4 Anus explosion death match
This is one stipulation match that has a name that won’t easily be forgotten. The most notable occurrence of this match (and my fingers are crossed that this is the only occurrence) happened in FMW (Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling) way back in 1999. If you’re familiar with FMW then you know that they had many of the wildest match stipulations in wrestling history.
Hayabusa and an imposter Hayabusa were the unlucky competitors in this bout that could only be won by shoving a firecracker inside a wrestler’s posterior and lighting it. The true Hayabusa won while the loser hopefully went home and seriously evaluated his career choices up to that point in life.
#3 Cry baby match
There’s a long history of wrestlers having to undergo some sort of humiliation after a match defeat. Sometimes they might have to kiss body parts that they’d otherwise not attempt – Vince McMahon has an exclusive club dedicated to these very acts.
Other times, they might have to dress up in demeaning attire like when Bobby Heenan was made to don a weasel suit. In this instance, the 1-2-3 Kid got diapered and bottle fed like a baby.
Way back in the early In Your House Pay-Per-View days of what was then called the WWF, two incredible performers known as Scott Hall and Sean Waltman thought they needed this ridiculously silly match stipulation to help intensify a rivalry that began in the previous Royal Rumble.
Razor Ramon and the 1-2-3 Kid have a rivalry that’s well-remembered thanks to the first shocking win by The Kid. This match, however, isn’t brought up in nearly the same regard.
#2 Alive and dead food death match
This is one of the weirdest and cruellest matches to ever occur in a wrestling ring. Jun Kasai once tagged with Great Sasuke against Brahman Shu and Kei with loads of sea creatures around the ring, available for use as weaponry.
Some of the sea life was already dead, but some entered the match alive. Some of the “action” from the living non-human combatants included a turtle snapping onto a lip and a lobster getting placed onto the back of a man locked into a Sharpshooter submission.
Some of the antics can be considered morbidly funny, but then sick spots like a German suplex onto a live lobster is seen and then it’s hard not to feel like a scumbag for watching living creatures getting killed for no reason at all.
This stipulation is way beyond ridiculous and the competitors should’ve had at least some reservations before participating. I’d strongly advise not watching this specific match and will not link it here, but it’s easy to find through a simple web search if your curiosity leads you to do so. However, you’ll feel far better about yourself if you don’t seek this one out.
#1 Island death match
Imagine a rivalry so heated that you and your foe travel to a deserted island to settle the score. All of the earth around you is your battleground and anything goes because this is a death match after all. The battle will go on for as long as necessary until a winner has been declared. Also, imagine this match being utterly boring.
There have been several instances of these insanely long island matches occurring and they’re mostly all way longer than any wrestling match has a right to be. One of the more well-known Island Death Matches happened between Antonio Inoki and Masa Saito on Ganryugima Island.
The contest was over two hours long and if rest holds after rest holds are how you like your death matches, then this one is for you. Some of the later incarnations of the Island Death Match were far more enjoyable to watch and considerably cut back on their duration, which was a wise move.
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