5 Superstars who should retire after WrestleMania 34

#2 The Undertaker

The Undertaker should return as The American Badass

OK, where was I? Undertaker looked like an octogenarian last year in Orlando and we’re expected to want to see him again?

I just don’t know what to say anymore. He should have retired at any point the last six years, it looked like he finally and mercifully did too late last year, and now they’re at it again with the worst build up to Mania yet?

Don’t hate me those of you who watch every week but what would have been the difference between Cena doing nothing in the lead-up and what they’ve actually done?

The only difference I see is they might actually have been able to swerve a mystery opponent for Cena when he’s finally out there in New Orleans calling out the old man. Now even that wouldn’t work because everyone is expecting American Badass to show up or them to set something up for later.

It really does pain me to say it because Undertaker is one of the main reasons I’ve watched so much pro wrestling. However, I never want to see him wrestle a singles match again.

My compromise is the only good outcome I can see on Sunday: Kid Rock plays him out to the uncensored version of American Badass with WWE’s clean-cut Captain America looking shocked in the ring, and then smashes him with a chain or pipe before a final run of three-minute tag matches with Kane, until they’re finally beaten and can ride off into the sunset together. That’s my wishful thinking. Just retire.