'%20x='0'%20y='0'%20height='100%25'%20width='100%25'%20%0A%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20xlink%3Ahref='data:image/jpg;base64,/9j/2wBDAAYEBQYFBAYGBQYHBwYIChAKCgkJChQODwwQFxQYGBcUFhYaHSUfGhsjHBYWICwgIyYnKSopGR8tMC0oMCUoKSj/2wBDAQcHBwoIChMKChMoGhYaKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCgoKCj/wgARCAAGAAoDASIAAhEBAxEB/8QAFQABAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABAX/2gAIAQEAAAAADM//xAAUAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAE/9oACAECEAAAAC//xAAUAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAE/9oACAEDEAAAAG//xAAgEAACAgEDBQAAAAAAAAAAAAABAgMFEwAHEgQRImHR/9oACAEBAAE/AI9m7sW1zKvV1TIZWM4PIFci5Fxnho7byp4m0buPTfdf/8QAFREBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP/2gAIAQIBAT8Ao//EABgRAAIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABAgMR/9oACAEDAQE/AKpPD//Z'%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E)
It’s less than 3 weeks away from WrestleMania 34. There are now only 2 episodes of RAW before the “Show of Shows” in New Orleans, and everything is set up, now it’s up to WWE to use their last two weeks to really build the anticipation and make us really, really want to see WrestleMania. Last week they took a few steps in the right direction. This week, they took a few steps back. Let’s take a look at last week’s predictions.
- Nia Jax tries to get her hands on Alexa during or after her match, but fails
This was exactly what happened. I speculated that Bliss would take a count-out loss in what I assume to be Asuka’s final appearance on RAW, and that’s what they did. And when she tried to walk away, Nia Jax came down and tried to beat her up, but was only successful in chasing her out of the arena. Simple, but effective. Now let’s hope crying Nia is gone and angry monster Nia kicks it into super high gear. I know Alexa has been built up incredibly strong since she first won the SD Live Women’s Title, but I really think Nia should beat her in 3 or 4 minutes, with Bliss getting in zero offence.
- Bayley & Sasha lose to Mandy & Sonya due to miscommunication
I got both of the women’s segments spot on. Not that I was necessarily going out on a limb with either of the predictions because they both made the absolute most sense, but I still nailed them. Bayley and Sasha tagged themselves in and tried to one-up each other, as I expected, and the finish came when Bayley was pushed into Banks followed by a kick from Deville that led to the pinfall. Bayley and Sasha intimated that they would be in the Battle Royal, so it’s possible that they are going to save the one-on-one match for a later show, but that actually might be for the best. They will get lost in the shuffle at WrestleMania. Put them in the Battle Royal and let them be the last two in there, and have Bayley eliminate Sasha. They shake hands and Sasha raises Bayley’s hand. Then on the RAW After ‘Mania, Sasha absolutely destroys Bayley. That’s probably the best way to go.
- Finn Balor & Seth Rollins defeat The Miztourage
I missed this one, as Balor, Gallows, and Anderson took on Miz, Dallas, and Axel instead. There’s still a complete lack of intrigue to this match, and it’s extremely disappointing that after the big momentum that they built up with Seth, that he’s being pushed into a triple threat that will be good, but people really don’t care all that much about.
- Undertaker gets a vague teaser video -- Dead Man or Biker Taker?
Still no Undertaker. Kane showed up though! Yay? That just makes it seem like Undertaker will indeed be returning as the Dead Man. I’m still cool with the match, but it makes me much less interested. It’s not as good of a story if he’s just the generic dude who makes fire and lighting appear from nowhere and can cut the lights so he can come out from underneath the ring. Sooooo tired of that character.
- Brock Lesnar appears via satellite
As much as I enjoyed seeing Brock destroy a helpless Roman, they did the wrong thing. Brock should not have shown up yet. I really thought that Vince guaranteeing Brock’s presence, and then Brock not showing up, would throw so much more gasoline on the fire. Instead, there was Brock, beating up a man in handcuffs. And who the hell thought it was a good idea for them to be “US Marshals”? Assaulting a US Marshall would get Reigns arrested immediately and he would have no chance of making it to WrestleMania. He’d be put on a no-fly list and be kept out of action for months, and then go to jail. Freakin’ ridiculous, and it makes the attempt at realism look incredibly fake. Disappointing.
Overall, I went 2 for 5. I got both women’s segments down to the letter, but I was mistaken on the rest. All of which would have been better, and all of which I honestly believed would happen, especially Lesnar showing up via satellite instead of live in the ring. Oh well. How about next week?
#5 Braun Strowman beats Sheamus, chooses Big Show as his tag partner
I would personally prefer to see them call up Lars Sullivan and have Braun and Lars dominate the RAW Tag Division while Harper and Rowan dominate SmackDown until they have a clash (at SummerSlam, maybe?). Even without the Harper and Rowan interaction, Braun and Lars would be a fantastic tag team, and being brought up to the main roster as one-half of a tag team instead of as a singles guy would help mask Lars’ faults and weaknesses while he continues to improve.
Instead, I expect that Big Show is going to make his return next week, possibly to “save” Strowman after Sheamus and Cesaro try to double team him, or before the match, as Braun names him and he stands in Strowman’s corner for the match. It’s not a bad idea, just maybe not the best. I just hope they don’t go with someone like Curt Hawkins or some other loser-like character like so many people are speculating. The tag team division doesn’t need to be devalued even further. I get that Braun is a monster, but Sheamus and Cesaro are an amazing team and to have them beaten single-handedly by Braun as a loser partner stands on the apron for the whole match would be a travesty.
#4 Ronda Rousey actually appears in a live segment during the show
After RAW last week (or during a commercial break or something, I don’t know), Ronda Rousey came out to the ring, only to be interrupted by Dana Brooke. She hit an awkward looking throw of some sort and that was the end of things.
Not quite sure what was going on there. In any event, with only two episodes of RAW left before WrestleMania, WWE has to have Ronda appear live. She probably won’t and there will be another video package that gets more in-depth on her training instead of her personal story like the one we got this week, but I can hope they actually put her on TV as promised (and then deleted). I expect that they will save Ronda, Triple H, and Stephanie for the last segment on RAW in two weeks on the last show before WrestleMania. Annoying.
#3 Nia Jax defeats Mickie James while Alexa does commentary
Alexa will do her best to stay as far away from Nia as possible. Nia will enter first, then Mickie and Alexa will come out, with Bliss only going as far as the commentary desk before letting Mickie get slaughtered by Nia. I’m glad that they actually addressed the inexplicable reuniting of James and Bliss on RAW this week.
When even the commentators have no idea what the hell is going on, you’ve got something stupid going on in your story. At least it gives Nia someone to beat up before WrestleMania. She won’t get her hands on Bliss until April 8, where hopefully she beats her very quickly while Alexa gets zero offence.
As for what they do on the final episode before ‘Mania, I would not be surprised if Nia cut a really bad “emotional” promo because surely WWE will find a way to make the people not want to care about her.
The girl has a LOT of improvement to do in the promo department. Just make her a silent killer while she works on her promos with an acting coach or something. They brought her in as a killer, then they decided to humanize her, but her complete inability to speak like a human being and the constant rolling of her eyes every time she’s on camera made it impossible for her to truly be likeable. Time for the silent destroyer to return.
#2 John Cena beats Kane with little difficulty, Undertaker stays silent
They’re going to make us wait until the final episode of RAW to get a definitive answer from The Undertaker. Next week, Cena will beat Kane in a short match and call out The Undertaker again, only for him to get no response. I mean, MAYBE the lights will go out for a second, and there might even be a gong, but I doubt it. ‘Taker will stay completely silent until April 2, where he will probably appear in the ring, chokeslam Cena, do the throat slash pose and look at the WrestleMania logo.
Whatever they do, it will be far from thrilling, because WWE hates me and specifically wants me to be disappointed. I’m sure of it.
#1 Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar cut an in-ring promo and Roman isn’t on RAW
In what I’m sure WWE will believe to be a clever bit of irony, Brock Lesnar will be on RAW next week, and Roman Reigns will not. Heyman will make fun of Roman and joke about that exact thing. We will also find out that the “US Marshals” were actually just guys that Heyman arranged to be sent out to ringside to fool Roman into letting himself get handcuffed.
Of course, none of this will do anything to make the crowd boo Lesnar and want to cheer for Roman, and WrestleMania will end this year the same way it did the last two years. Roman stands tall and the crowd is either booing or apathetic. The last RAW before WrestleMania will probably feature a pull-apart brawl between Reigns and Lesnar because that’s all WWE seems to really know how to do. Story be damned. Just let the two big dumb guys hit each other, right?
Send us news tips at [email protected]
